The FRG, or Family Readiness Group, in many ways gets a bad rap that they don’t truly deserve. I’ve heard many horror stories about the FRG but I’ve also heard many positive ones as well. Mixed in with the stories are a few myths that I thought I may be able to clear up as well.

1. The FRG is made up completely by volunteers – typically other wives of that unit, just like you. In some cases, parents are also volunteers. When they call you on your long distance phone number, for instance, that money for the phone call comes out of that key caller’s pocket.

2. The FRG is not made up of mind readers. They can’t magically know that you are new in town or that you and your soldier were just married unless someone tells them. Generally this is done by your soldier. Make sure he lets them know you are here. And if he doesn’t, then you make the call to get your name on the list. Complaining because you’ve never heard from the FRG doesn’t actually accomplish anything. Take action and let them know you are there!

3. FRGs are typically as active as their spouses are. Many times, I’ve heard the complaint that the FRG doesn’t do anything or doesn’t do enough. But turn around and ask the same person if they went to the last event and 95% of the time, the answer is no. If you want your FRG to be active, then attend the events they have and encourage more.

4. Better yet, VOLUNTEER. I don’t know of any FRGs that will turn it down when a spouse or parent offers to be a volunteer. There are many activities you can help with – from being a key caller and passing information through the phone chain to editing a unit newsletter. If you want to see your FRG change, then volunteer to help be a part of that change.

5. Communicate with your FRG. When a key caller calls you and has to leave a message, call her back to confirm you received it. Answer emails. Attend events. Call your key caller or leader and give them ideas of things to do. Go to meetings. Show you want to be involved and be sure to invite other spouses to attend with you.
I hope all of you will at least give your FRG a chance before you write it off as a lost cause based on stories you heard from others. Even if your FRG is really bad, it can always be turned around with the help of spouses who want it to be a better organization.

Time to talk about the FRG or Family Readiness Group. This group can be an amazing source of information and support for the Army wife and family. The level of your involvement is completely up to you – nothing is mandatory. Many units have FRGs that are basically stagnant until the unit deploys. Some units enjoy a FRG that is active all of the time regardless of what the schedule is for the soldiers.

The activity of your FRG can depend on you! Yes, you! With little involvement of Army wives and other family members, there will be little need for activities. If you don’t like how your FRG is progressing, volunteer to be in a leadership position in your group. You can do this by volunteering to be on a committee or volunteering to be a key caller. As a key caller, you would be responsible for getting information out to other Army wives within the unit. Please do recognize that no one is paid within the FRG. Everyone who is running it or putting together activities, making phone calls, etc. is doing it as a volunteer.

I have heard of spouses who absolutely love their group and depend on it and I’ve also heard of some who say they wouldn’t go back if they were paid! One of my first experiences was with another wife who proceeded to tell me how much the state of Georgia sucks after I told her I was from here. I just politely smiled, nodded my head and made a mental note to stay away from her! The fact is that the group is what you make it. For me, it is a great resource for information but my main support system is in other places. I just seemed to click with others better.

The decision about whether to stay involved is up to you. But at least try it out and give it a shot. A room full of new friends could be waiting to meet you!

by guest editor, Katherine Tiberghien

Family Readiness Groups are a Commanders program to keep family members in the loop of informational readiness. Although the name may tend to lend itself as being just for Family Members, it is for the ENTIRE unit, to include single Soldiers.

During deployments, many FRGs come together to do craft like things to send to their Soldiers overseas. For instance, my FRG just had a night to make Valentine’s Day cards for the Soldiers. They provided all the materials, all we had to do was bring the creativity.

Unfortunately, when I asked “Are we making cards for the Single Soldiers?” I was told, “NO.”

NO? Why not?

Single Soldiers are an important part of the FRG, and should be included in all functions. You do not know if those Soldiers are getting anything from anyone. Sure, we would like to believe that their parents and friends are sending them things, but the truth is, some do not have supportive parents. Sending them a card from the FRG may be worth more to them than anything else, because it shows that you CARE.

When married Soldiers return from deployments, they go back to their homes, which have food in the kitchen, sheets on the bed, and all the other “nice” things in a home. When Single Soldiers come back, they go to a barracks room with 4 empty blank white walls, no sheets, no food, no shower curtains, NOTHING. They do not get their belongings out of storage for at least 2 to 3 weeks. Wouldn’t be nice if the FRG could do SOMETHING for these Soldiers? Even if it is just getting government bedding and making the beds, providing some snack food and a shower curtain, is better than NOTHING. These Soldiers will appreciate the effort you put into THEM, and in return, will support your FRG in ways you thought were not possible.

In this high deployment stage of military life, let us not forget our Single Soldiers. They make up 47 percent of the Army, and deserve our respect and gratitude as well. It should be our responsibility, and our PLEASURE, to do something for these Soldiers, who have sacrificed just as much as our Married Soldiers.

Katherine Tiberghien
SGT, USA

Family Readiness Groups (FRGs) were created to support the family members of soldiers, particularly during deployment. Most family readiness groups allow any family member to be a part of the group. Some, such as the FRGs associated with special operations units, may be more selective with who is allowed to receive information.

The FRG is described as:
“An organization of family members, volunteers and soldiers belonging to a unit that together provide an avenue of mutual support, assistance and a network of communication among the family members, the chain of command, and community resources.”

Spouses of married soldiers and parents of single soldiers are automatically members of the FRG. As stated above, some FRGs may allow other members as well. You can play any role you would like within the FRG. Some wish only to attend meetings and obtain information while others would rather take on a leadership role. Either is fine.

It is important to remember that as with all other spouse functions, there is no rank in the FRG. Anyone who is willing to hold a leadership role can regardless of who the soldier is or the associated rank. FRGs typically call on volunteers for duties such as creating the unit newsletter, being a member of the welcoming committee, organizing social functions, participating in fundraising activities or being a key caller (also known as point of contact) for other family members.

If your soldier is new to the unit and you have not been contacted by the FRG, be sure that your soldier has your name added to the roster. This is generally the only way that the FRG can know that you exist. You can also seek out the contact information for the FRG leader and call that person yourself to be added to the roster. In addition, many FRGs now have virtual FRGs set up online. To check to see if your unit is online, visit www.armyfrg.org.

Some FRGs are only active during deployments. While the soldiers are stateside, they may be relatively inactive. This was the case with our FRG. The actual activities and amount of activity can vary greatly from one FRG to the next. It is important to remember, however, that those running the FRG are just family members such as yourself who are volunteering their time and talent. There is no pay for volunteering with the FRG.

The FRGs can be an excellent source of information not only about your soldier’s unit but also about the resources and activities that are available on post. While they can refer a family member to these resources, remember that they generally will not be the ones who provide the service. For instance, you may approach your key caller about financial issues and they may refer you to AER but the FRG will not actually loan money. Or you may call with emotional issues that are best dealt with by a trained professional so they will direct you to those resources. They will not play the role of counselor.

If there is a need for a casualty notification, the FRG is not involved in that process unless you specifically request their presence. Notifications are handled by the Army and typically include a team of a chaplain and casualty assistance officer. The FRG will not be the one to notify you of a casualty that involves your soldier. They may, however, for rumor control purposes distribute the information after the family has been notified.

It is vitally important that you keep your information up to date with the FRG. If during a deployment, you go out of town, you need to let the FRG or POC know so that they will be able to find you in the case of an emergency. While involvement in the FRG is not mandatory, it is important to realize that this is your main source of information, particularly during a deployment. The unit leaders will contact the FRG leaders to disseminate information to family members. This is usually the only way to obtain official information about your soldier’s unit.

Above all else, please give your FRG a chance before you write them off based on the rumor mill. Even if your FRG is less than stellar, you can volunteer and be the person who works to turn that around. Be the positive force that you wish to see.