≡ Menu

Chin Up: Army Life is What You Make It

Your attitude is so important to being a successful Army wife! The Army is always throwing curve balls – training that lasts twice as long as it is suppose to, deployments that get extended just when you thought he was coming home and that occasional paycheck that never appears in your bank account. As an Army wife, you will definitely deal with your share of obstacles. How you come out in the end depends on the attitude you had going in.

Some of those I know who have being an Army wife down pat are those who see this as an adventure. And really when you think about it, it is just that! It is all in the way you look at things. Take the whole moving experience for example. You can look at it in two ways….

I cannot believe we just got PCS orders to move AGAIN! We haven’t even been here very long at all. Now I have to pack all of our things, say goodbye to another set of friends and move to this strange place. I heard the base is horrible and on base housing should be condemned even though there’s a 12 month waiting list. This is going to be the worst two years of my life.

Or….

Well, in the civilian world, you would have to take all this time off to research cities to see which one would be the best fit for your family. You have to spend precious time agonizing over the right decision, the right job, the right place. Not us! We get our direction on a little piece of paper called orders. They tell us where to go so we don’t have to decide. I get to meet new people every few years and now have a network of friends around the world. In all likelihood, I’ll never have to pay for a hotel room again because there’s not too many places we could go where there isn’t someone we know. My kids will learn to adapt to change well which will only help them when they graduate from college and enter the real world with their first job.

Ok, so maybe that one is a little too upbeat but you get the picture. Your mind and your attitude are very strong. If you tell yourself things are going to be horrible, then you will subconsciously search out things that will validate those beliefs. You will overlook the good and only search for the bad. But the same is also true in reverse. When you expect things to be exciting, you will search out things that will validate those beliefs as well.

There is an old story from a Chicken Soup for the Soul book that talks about a wife wrecking their car. When she tells her husband about it, she says there’s no need to be upset. We can have a wrecked car and be angry about it or we can have a wrecked car and be happy about it – either way we have a wrecked car.

So next time, you get that unexpected surprise from the Army….just tell yourself, we can be angry about this or happy about this but either way we still have our surprise. Wouldn’t you rather be happy?

About the author: Stacey is an Army wife of a soldier who joined in 2003. He has since been medically retired but she continues to provide information to Army wives and families to make their adjustment to the Army lifestyle easier. Connect with Stacey: Facebook Twitter Pinterest

{ 3 comments… add one }
  • Jaynet July 21, 2010, 3:24 am

    Hi I have two kids there real young an im fixin to marry a soilder, Im not sure how or if I can emotionaly handle everything as in bein strong for him and the kids does anyone have some advice for me…

    • Stacey July 21, 2010, 8:58 am

      Find a support system whether it is other spouses or online. You can visit us at armywifechat.com.

  • Lauren May 30, 2012, 8:16 pm

    I’m becoming a new army wive. Such a bundle of emotions. I’ve lived in my home town for 23 years. I have a 4 year old son. It scares me to even think about leaving. I worry at how my son will adjust to change, New schools, New faces, Being away from his family and what he knows. I worry that where ever we are stationed I’ll be so lost with where to go, what to do. && Let me say this I am the worst at directions…

Leave a Comment