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Ask An Army Spouse: Dating a Soldier Online Scam

These scams where you believe you are dating a soldier are becoming more and more common. They seem to come up with new ways to run the scam on a daily basis. If the person you are speaking to requests money in any form, cut off all communication. Here are some more signs you’re involved in a dating scam.

Scam: Form Letter to Request Time Off

Hi.. i have a .. I found a soldier online.. We have been talking for quite sometime and he says he loves me.. Well I just found out that he was courting two women. Myself and another women.. I mean he was playing us both. He was even writing us the same letters.. Like a cut an paste thing.. Well us girls found out about each other and busted him.. Well to make things short.. He ended up picking me.. I am leery about everything he says now.. I don’t know if he is really in love with me or just playing me to get some time off.. See he wants to marry me he says.. He wants me to write a letter to the army requesting time off so we CAN get married.. I am not sure if this is a scam that the guys pull, to keep themselves busy..He doesn’t want to talk about where we will go when he gets back.. My house or his house.. Just keeps saying we can talk about if and when he gets leave time.. Do you think I am being paranoid or now that he has made his decision and picked me. Is he sincere.. He isn’t going to use me for time off and then blow me off when he gets back to the states.. I need some advice.. I really like him and I want to trust him.. But need to know if this is what the men do for amusement.. Up for any suggestions and advice.. Thanks Michelle


The entire thing would make me very leery, personally. The thing that sticks out most to me is him asking you to write to request time off for him so he can get married. This is simply not how the Army works. The Army does not process requests for time off from the girlfriend (or wife for that matter) of a soldier. It is up to him to put in a request for time off. Some units will not even allow individual time off and the soldier can only have leave when the unit as a whole takes it.

You didn’t mention if he is deployed, but I’m willing to bet that after you request his leave time, he will then request money to be able to take the leave. Nearly every scam I’ve been informed of in the past few months has included this.

He should also be willing to tell you where he is, where he is stationed, where you would both live after getting married, etc. Do you know what unit he is assigned to? Has he given you an AKO email address (his name @ us.army.mil)? I would definitely ask more questions. And if he asks you for money, you should cut off contact with him.

Good luck!

Scam: Sending Email to Request Phone Line and Paying For It

I have been chatting with a man who said he is in the Army and is in Iraq. he would like to talk on the phone and said there is protocol to follow. I am to send a e-mail requesting to get connected with him, he said there is a fee and then all calls are free.  He also mentioned something about registering and then I can request for him to get leave. This is the first time I have ever done anything like this and I am not sure its real. Is there a way to find out if this person is really in the Army? Any suggestions would be great. Thank you.


I am afraid this is most likely a scam. When soldiers are overseas, there is no reason for other people to be paying for their communication. They make more money when they are deployed than when they are stateside and generally have less expenses. Also, almost every post in Iraq and Afghanistan has MWR phone lines available where the soldiers can call home at no charge.

There is also no reason for you to request for him to get leave. This is something that he has to do. The Army is not going to recognize a leave request from a civilian. In other cases that I have been informed of, the request is typically granted and then an outrageous amount of money (in the thousands) is requested to purchase a flight. This is a scam as well as soldiers do not have to pay for their flights in or out of Iraq or Afghanistan.

I’m sorry he has tried to scam you.

Scam: Paying for an Internet Connection Overseas

I have met a soldier online,  seems nice. We have beem talking for quite sometime now and he says he’s deployed to Afghanistan and will be going to iraq for 3months so he will not be able to chat online. He told me to write to ts2militarycall. They wrote back saying I should subscribe with a fee of 524. What I want to know is are there no internet connections in Iraq and is there a cheaper way to call? He says he’s a sergeant. Is this another scam?


Yes, this is a scam. In almost all cases, he has access to the internet as well as phones through the MWR in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Depending on where he is, he may not be able to call very often but it would be very unlikely for it to be completely impossible. There’s also no reason why YOU should be paying for it. He makes more money as a deployed soldier than he makes when he is stateside. If he wants additional communication capabilities, he can easily afford the cost to do it.

I’m sorry.

Scam: Paying for His Leave from Overseas

I have a few concerns and i need to know if my gut instinct is telling me the right thing, before someone i care for ends up seerioulsy hurt or scammed for money she doesn’t have. My sister has been speaking with a guy who is in the army and is apparently a sargent. He has been telling her that he will be coming to see her when he can get a leave. Also, she should be getting a verification number shortly from the base , and then she will be gettting his leave money as he has put her down as his next of kin. this money will not be in a cheque form as the army has to be careful of fraud. therefore they will be using western union for the transaction. I have tried to tell my sister this all sounds like a hoax, but she is falling for this MIKE guy fast. He apparently has 2 children who attend a boarding school. I can not for the life of me , see how this so called sargent would want to give up his life long ambition in the army to be the boyfriend of a woman who he has never personally met. Do you have any insight to this concern. if my thoughts are true, how do i break this news to her.
Look forward to hearing from you SOON.

This is a scam. There is no transfer of funds when they go on leave. The Army pays for their leave during a deployment. They will pay for them to travel to any destination they choose. The only requirement is that they fly back to the combat zone from the same location. I’m sorry.

Scam: Completing Leave Forms to Return from Deployment

I met a girl online. For two months she seemed nice. Then she said I could request leave on her behalf and she gave me an email address. I wrote to it. They answered immediately asking me to fill out 1 form. I did it. The next day they asked me to Western Union $2350 to her replacement in Ecuador and she would be granted leave within 12 hrs. After this, since I had been skeptical for a while, I called her on it and she erupted. The forms have two other “officers” names on them. The forms were so bogus. They listed the Dept of Defense at an address not in the Pentagon, but at Washington DC, WA. Since I called her on the scam, she said I better be careful before I get myself in trouble and that she knows where I live and my child’s name. Is this a common scam? Should I be worried? I have all the forms and documentation and IP address. Help me.


This is becoming a very common scam. First, the military does not ask civilians (relatives or otherwise) to write to request leave for a soldier. This is all handled by the soldier. Secondly, there would not be an exchange of money involved with it.

Quite a few that have contacted me about similar scams have said they and their families were threatened when they refused to send money (or refused to send more money). If I were in your shoes, I would contact the authorities in your area. You may also contact a CID (Criminal Investigation Division) for the branch of service she was claiming to be.

About the author: Stacey is an Army wife of a soldier who joined in 2003. He has since been medically retired but she continues to provide information to Army wives and families to make their adjustment to the Army lifestyle easier. Connect with Stacey: Facebook Twitter Pinterest

{ 205 comments… add one }
  • Denita June 9, 2015, 9:16 am

    ok, I met this guy online who claims to be a soldier..he says he needs to put some money into my acct for him to come home..says his ex was using is money so he canceled the card. I asked for the military email..says it’s just for his son to contact him..fake?

  • karla adams June 16, 2015, 2:57 pm

    I have a question. I’m kinda confused on why someone would ask for money for a medical card when they were hit with a flying bullet. They are in a hospital but still need to see a specialist. I met him before he went in and everything seems to check out ok with him. How do I go about checking out about this medical card? Please help?

  • Marilyn June 28, 2015, 4:45 pm

    I have been texting a guy for 10 months, he just sent flowers candy a stuff beer delivered to me…his name is Mario r. Noell his email is rangermario880@yahoo.com and I have tried to fine out if he is the real deal, but no results…

    His phone number is 7147708911
    He is suppose to be in Kabul,Afghanistan and I can’t find any info.. He has ask me to max out credit card or open a acct. To keep his deployment funds going to his family, due to the fact that navy fed. Credit union and ther credit union has been over drawn due to kiss and ex wife.. I feel he is not real, but I still want confirmation that he is trying to scam me..I haven’t gave no info. Or nothing about my credit card or my acct…can you please help me .. I am the mother of a CHeif Petty Officer in the Navy..thank you for your time

    • Kathy December 6, 2015, 3:43 pm

      I have been texting to the same phone number and he says his name is Damian Hood and he is in Kubal and I met him on Mate1.com social wedsite. He just sent me his photos but his name is not on his uniform but he is standing outside a helicopter. I wonder if he is actually him. He is also retiring soon and will be looking to move back to the states. We have only been texting and emailing for just a few days. I have already been burned by another so called soldier and found out he was never in Afganistan. I will wait until I see something not right as money changing hands I will be very cautious on this one.

  • Mina July 13, 2015, 2:05 am

    I met a supposed officer on Christisn Singles. He asked me to get off there and for us to speak on Whatsaapp.

    Today he asked me to get a phone for him so that we could talk via phone. He told me there would be a small cost for the phone and after they will credit me back. He said he will be out in 4 months. I am pretty sure that it is a scam. I did tell him that I will have to check it out. He said it’s ok. This is the site he told me to go on: phoneactivation.departmentkabulbase@usa.com

    His name that he used is llewellynmaxwell@yahoo.com.

    This is a scam right?

  • Ann eastwood July 21, 2015, 6:12 pm

    I think I got scam. I did give him some money to get the satellite phone. I’ll never see that again. He is also asking me to ask the general for him to have a leave.and thank God I was smarter enough nit to do that. I told him that my car has broken down and need the money at first he was k but then he was saying that I was playing games.well we shall see what happens to see if he does like me.not waiting for him.the name is Michael Deimel

  • Cindy July 22, 2015, 3:54 pm

    Just wanted to say I have been texting a soldier in Nigeria for a year now. Never asked for money but has used all the othe excuses. No food and can’t have access to his funds. Has not missed a day in a year texting me. He also was supposed to come home in December but got ambushed by terrorists. I have a bad feeling even though no money has been asked for and he is there texting every day

  • Redd July 23, 2015, 10:01 am

    I am currently texting a guy who as to be military (army) and he has not asked for money he actually sent me flowers and chocolates then he sent me a ring. However he did ask fory banking info and he askede to send my drivers license so when he came on leave that the at will know who he was with in case he doesn’t come back. As stupid as it sounds I have already fell for his scams I am confused because he has not done the typical just the bank info he wanted me to send money after he deposited it in my bank to people who will help process his leave he did say they were military and I didn’t have to do anything he told me they will handle the flight but he’ll need a hotel when he gets here. I’m not sure wats going one bank allowed his first transaction to come thru they said the cancelled it but it came thru anyway. He did ask to set up another acct. even before the issue with the first one. He had different choices of banks to go too. I’m confused because he has sent me things. We never text long maybe 2 hrs at the most a day. When confronted with the issue of the bank he never stopped texting or anything he still talking the same way as before I need mediate help . Confused

    • Ashley December 12, 2015, 3:01 pm

      8 have been dating a man from army for about 5 months now, and we have had fights over things that you would not think you could get through togetger, unless it was real. I have confessed numerous health issues to him, made him aware of my needs personally, and yet he still text daily claiming he loves me and wants to marry me when he gets out of deployment. He gave me a date his deployment is over, and part of me wonders if he is,real with his feelings, he lives here in the same state I do, just about 45 miles out, and if he really wants to be with me, whether I could send him funds or not, wouldn’t he still come home to me in the end? neaning, IF I Send N9 more, Will He Still Come Home To Me OR BE gone? I am told they have no access to funds in iraq, and that there is a clearance fee that must be paid before he can be discharged

  • Sandy July 24, 2015, 8:33 pm

    I met a guy on Facebook. He claims to be an E-8 Sargeant. He says he is currently deployed to Africa. Within a day he started telling me he loved me. I was like whoa dude slow down. He did, but he is now talking about a fiancé form ft jat needs to be filled out so he doesn’t get in trouble for sneaking and texting me on an app called whatsapp. I asked him for his ako email address and he says he is calling it’s quits cause he feels I don’t trust him. But I asked what was a fiancé form and he never said. So I started wondering is this guy real? Is this a scam? What is a fiancé form?

    • Ashley December 12, 2015, 2:37 pm

      Cindy, I have been dating a man on line for about 5 months now. He said he had no access to loans from military , due to a specific contract he signed with them, which does not allow loans, so I sent him travel funds, that he claims are safe, but was recently told by army that now he owes clearance fees before he can leave. I am not sure if this is regular army protocol or not. A.

  • Elizabetb July 26, 2015, 9:53 am

    Hi my name is Liz, I have met this guy who’s name is French amos patrick ! He says he a medical officer in the army and is posted at the american army base in Abuja. We have been talking for a few months and now he want me to write a letter to his commander so that we are able to chat on the phone as it’s protocol to that before we can talk! His commander approved it and said to send the $100 via Western Union with MTCN number so he able to pick it! Can you please tell me if I am being scammed? Thanks Liz

    • Dani February 13, 2016, 8:27 pm

      Hi my name is Dani. This Patrick Amos French that you speak of is now contacting women on Date hook up. He claims he us a medical corpsman for the us navy noe ! He has 1 daughter, he lives in cannon falls, minnasota. he needs $200.00 dollars to be wired to him western union to talk on the phone for 3 days. He wants women to email his commander. This is a scam!

  • Stacey Joseph August 22, 2015, 9:40 am

    I have been talking with a guy who states he is stationed in Turkey. Email address is stevegreen4steve@yahoo.com. States he moved from California in 2005 and in now living in Perrysville, Ohio. He is 6’1″, never married, but has one son that is 7.
    He has sent me 3 pictures, 2 of which were not the ones on the dating website. He has not asked for money and we are able to text intermittently everyday. He states there is a 7 hour time difference.
    His profile states he is 38. Is he real?

    • Ruthann Walker October 6, 2015, 10:43 pm

      Is this guy’s name Steve Reynolds? He’s a scam. I met him on ourtime. I trusted him and he deposited FAKE government checks into my account. The only real thing about him is his story. Beware

      • Becky Gosnell October 19, 2015, 10:59 pm

        Yes, Ruthann, that happened to me too, two more times; one more with a bank and once with my PayPal account. He claimed that he would “take care” of these when he came to see me. I waited over a year for him and he never made it. The last time he was supposed to come and see me, he said he was shot and couldn’t make it.

    • Ruthann Walker October 7, 2015, 12:22 am

      This guys name Steve Wayne Reynolds? I “met” him Aug 8, 2015. I got the same information from him. He is a scammer. He tried to scam me out of quite a lot of money. Beware of this man. I have several pictures of him still simply because I have been researching him and trying to get the word out of what kind of person he is. Do not believe a word he says.

    • Ruthann Walker October 7, 2015, 6:14 am

      I just wanted to ipdate, I am now getting threats from this guy. Stating he prays I die and he is working on that!

  • Penelope caceres August 31, 2015, 7:59 pm

    He was on a dateing site.call meet me and we started chat talk after 4 weeks he said what size ring I was and I said 4 the next day he said if I could help him pay this land he had In ta Texas and I say why and he said he could not do it from there for me to get a credit card from USAA and he would send me the money for me to pay his land is this a scam help

    • Karen September 30, 2015, 8:10 am

      Tried to be scammed by Major Matthew Grinstead claims to be a Army Soldier in Sudan wanting me to send money to his kids in Texas with a friends Aunt where the kids were originally suppose to be in New Jersey with his male friend (two girls 8&3) Kaylen& Keller. Says he lives in Coronado California. Asked me to pay ts2 military communications $500 to talk to him on a secure line. Women don’t be scammed by stupidity. His email address is: Mattgrinstead8@gmail.com phone 801-876-4024

  • juris_08 September 1, 2015, 7:04 am

    I have been talking with this guy for 5 months… Widower and have a 7 yrs. old son. Deployed in Yemen and in a covert mission. I met him on FB as i accepted the friend request from him. He told me to send a a request for his leave of absence,which i did. The commander replied along with the price depends how long is the leave. I did sent the money via western union and money gram for his leave and Basic Travel Allowance $2,135. He told me that it will be reimbursed once he arrived. On my way to the airport to pick him up,receive a message from him saying that he’s on hold in the airport. I have to bail him out as the military has no budget for that. Commander told me that US Embassy/Consulate cannot help him and a Human right Activist will rescue him to clear his name in the laundering case so he can continue to his flight. I asked him is AKO and other details but he doesn’t want to give as it is confidential? Even the SSN? As he says he’s part of a special forces. Now the military is pressuring me to bail him…..

  • Shane September 12, 2015, 9:34 am

    I have been talking to a guy that I’ve meet on skout. We’ve been talking for a couple of months now. He said skout is too slow so he gave me his another apps which is kik, we transfer there and we’ve been talking and chatting there. I just wanna ask if I’m in scam? He said he will send me money. He told me that When his AKO arrive he will send money for money. But one thing is he ask the full information of my bank account because that was AKO needs… Is it true that the AKO of the soldier really needs full bank account information to transfer money from him to me. And he said too. If I don’t have account in bank, all I need is to register AKO to be able from him to transfer money from him to me… Did he scam me or not.. I want an answer pls, I need to know…

    • Ashley December 12, 2015, 2:44 pm

      I almost fell for that trick. Do not be giving your bank account number or social security number to any man unless you are married. They can rob you of everything coming into your account for as long as the account is open. Ashley

  • Darla September 26, 2015, 9:42 am

    Met a man named Lucas James Sauve says he was in Afghanistan and was moved from there to West Africa and he is a combat medic. He wanted me to send him money because supposedly the base ran out of food. Which I know is a lie right there. I have been scammed before and know what the red flags are. I just want to know if he is military or am I being scammed again. His yahoo is scottd371@yahoo. He says he has no parents and his only brother was kia in Iraq. He is also on facebook. I told him I would be willing to send a package to him and asked for his APO and he said that there were too many addresses. Am I being scammed again? Help

    • Paula clarke December 4, 2015, 5:33 pm

      Hiya i know this sick fake.man dont do it ive been scammed also … and had the same.said to me
      … he goes.under alot of names go on the website male.scammers register and you can see men for free but i paid 10pounds and i get news updates of.new scammers hun i was scammed out of 1400 in total … but ive learnt now … and yes it hurts because you think they love you but the real ones dont ask for money ok hun take care xx

  • sherri thompson October 16, 2015, 12:57 pm

    How can I get his name and picture of who he claims to identified as to who he really is

  • Deann October 22, 2015, 7:48 pm

    Warning about a man who is a supposed Army staff sergeant named Smith Jack Morgenstern. He told me he was deployed in Afghanistan, was a divorced single father. We met on Facebook and then we emailed then he gave me a phone number and we started texting. He sent me pictures of him, his unit,his daughter, every thing seemed to be legit and checking out. I was falling for this guy and hard, but then he gave me an email address to the department of defense to put in a request for his leave. Again it seemed to check out but then the response I got from the “department of defense ” gave me a form to fill out and said I needed to send $850 through money gram. Immediately my heart broke because I just knew I was being scammed. I spoke to my ex brother in law who is a commander in the navy just to make sure and he confirmed that no one except the soldier can request leave and never do you have to pay to go on leave. So ladies whatever name they use or branch of the service or rank they are if they ask you to request their leave and for any amount of money you are being scammed SORRY

  • pamela November 14, 2015, 9:30 am

    Hi my name. Is Pamela. I live in UK Scotland Glasgow I meet this guy online on fastflirt. Is name. Is Hilliard he is usa marine we been. Talking over a year. Now he’s say he love me lots and and. He wants. To marry me bit he’s keep. Asking. For money. To home back in UK and he’s said. He needs. The money. Fast so he can. Be with me. What. Can I do I’m confused

  • Ashley December 12, 2015, 3:08 pm

    Please be very cautious of the nonsense you buy into over the web. I am speaking to myself as well when I say this. First, no one should be getting angry or frustrated if you ask for proof of their name, their sex, origin, etc. If they are acting like you hurt their feelings by asking, then they are hiding something! Never give your social security or bank information to anyone, unless you and they are married. Just being engaged or being called a girlfriend fir life isn’t protection. They can still turn on you and use you for all you have! They should not be offended if you want to do a background check. Again, if they are, they are hiding sonething. A true relationship is open and honest. I may/may not be a victim myself, at this very moment! I am learning, but love blinds us all! Ashley

  • tina December 13, 2015, 10:04 pm

    This guy found me on a site that I am on, on Facebook, he added me on Facebook ,he said his name is ojade and he is from Florida and he is divorced we’ve been messaging each other for about two weeks now he aked me if I would get him a rolex watch and a gold chain for his birthday and then I told him I didn’t have that kinda money every time I say something he don’t like he stops messaging me he has already told me that he loves me , and now he wants me to give him 550.00 for some forms to fill out so he can leave Syria and come back to the states and on top of that he wants me to help him pay to get back he said he doesn’t have access to his money, he said he was a staff sergeant in the army I dnt know what to believe. When I told him that I didn’t have the money to buy him a rolex watch and the gold chain he ask me to send him 400.00 to get the stuff there .

  • rose silveira December 27, 2015, 3:29 pm

    I’ve been talking to a soldier in afganitan he said for me to send him money for an I phone and money for a seal .he also sent me pictures of him .he said he loves me and is deployed in Afghanistan for a years he’s coming home in mid January .he’s from Ohio and his name is martin Allen
    On his uniform it does say Allen .and the pictures he sent all look like him .I want to know if this is a scam

  • Patrica January 5, 2016, 4:35 am

    Does anyone have a us military personnel name Ray carpenter or Tim mark parr

  • Gladys January 25, 2016, 11:17 am

    I met this a army soldier in Nigeria. Is there a base there ?How do I know that real guy or not . We emailing and chatting almost a month no. Can you help me?

  • Janet booth January 30, 2016, 3:18 pm

    I met some one who wants me to send him £2:450 for leave to come see me I want to know if its a scam

  • Janet booth January 30, 2016, 3:26 pm

    I met someone on a dating website we been taking for a while he said he works in the army and the army is baste in the middle east his army camp is qator so we was speaking he’s saying he wants to see me .. I should email this Lady that works in his army base so any ways I emailed and Said I want a leave for him to come and the paper works fee will cost me £2450 when they email where to send it but they was no address only where to send it and the person name can someone help me !!
    Many thanks

  • Zen February 21, 2016, 5:36 pm

    Is this scam ? The sargeant ask to leave with her fiance to the philippines ..the fiance send to general military and the reply send 200 dollars and you are benificiary your claim 350,000usd dollar for benificiary it is scam?pls need help

  • Karen February 23, 2016, 12:25 pm

    Hi, I was just wondering if a civilian has to apply for a DVW for a soldier if they are coming to visit me, I was told I had to do this and pay $200.00 but it would be reimbursed. This says SCAM to me. Am I right

  • Noemi M February 23, 2016, 6:36 pm

    I have been texting with a soldier his name is Micheal Torres on Facebook but when he send me a text thru hangouts he has another name Carlos Torres ..He’s always saying that he loves me and want to get married.. He had never ask me for money until last night. He ask me if I would send a request for him to get home and marry me but that it was going to be a fee. He also gave me an email address for me to send the request. I ask him how much was going to be the fee and he told me $980 but that I was going to get a reimburst when he got back … I don’t know what to think this is the first time I do something like this. He even sends me pictures.. Help

  • Suzanne twitchell February 25, 2016, 9:46 am

    Hi I have met a soldier in line on meet me site we have been talking for about 4 months now. He has asked me to apply for a fiancé form which cost about £155 is this right that the woman has to apply and pay for this would like to know asap if possible.

  • Sharon k March 3, 2016, 5:23 am

    Hi, been chatting to an American soldier called Stanley Knox, only today March 3rd asking if I could send $350 because his internet subscriptions have run out, don’t have that kind of money & I don’t want to think of him as a scammer though!!! We talk on whatsapp & his number starts with 0234

  • jatin dalal March 5, 2016, 1:48 pm

    yeah i got same thing just like you all . recently i met a single mom on dating site than we daily talk on whatsapp but i got doubt when i read all comments here because when i ask any pic of her she said i cant send i am sergeant of us army posted at k…..a army base like that . everyday we talk but she always refuse to send any pics and not even call and moreover she got i phone 5s and she just like saying you are my love blah blah and she want to send money or a new i phone 6s to me . her number starts from+0234 so what i do now complaint her or block or what

  • Margie March 8, 2016, 4:19 pm

    I am glad I found this site. It has saved me a lot of money and grief! I have been corresponding with a “soldier” online for the past 4 months. Yes, I have sent money. He has been very convincing. Some old same old…he fell in love with me, wants to take care of me when he is back in the states. He is widowed…parents died in a car crash, wife also died. Gee, how many times have I read the same thing on this site? It seems to be a common denominator! He has a daughter. I was sent many pictures of him, and him and daughter. Very convincing. He put me on as a beneficiary. I received an email from a so called military at military@null.net, (bogus) saying I had been approved. Next came the spiel about wanting to request for replacement so he can come back and start a life with me. I had to email and ask on his behalf. I did that. The next day I received and email from them saying that the request was in process and that I should wire $2050.00 USD to some woman in Athens Alabama!! Really, this is not official military style. I have since then found out that NO civilian can request leave for a soldier. ONLY the soldier can do that. And under NO circumstances is there EVER any money involved!! No if’s, and’s or but’s!! Get that? DON’T DO IT!! PERIOD! I never bothered to respond to the email. I also turned off my Yahoo messenger. It its where these scammers usually like to chat. So, what I did next was, I emailed him and told him that in order for me to believe him, saying who he says he is (many pictures of soldiers are stolen from the internet and used for these scams), I was requesting the following from him. And if he truly loved me, he would do as I ask and provide me with the following information. By the way, I already knew he is not who he says he is and that this is a Nigerian scam operation. I just wanted to see if he/they would respond to my email.
    I am providing the following for you to follow as well. Here it is…a portion of my email to him:

    I fell in love with this man named Richard who passed himself off as a diligent, hardworking, wonderful, unique man. I am beginning to think he is a figment of my imagination. In fact, I am really coming to believe that now. So, if you are really Richard Oliver Jude, as you say you are, you need to show me that you are. And if you really are, and you really do love me, then you will do as I ask and answer my questions. Here they are:
    1. Where are you from? State, city, address.
    2. Name of your late wife and date of death.
    3. Send me your AKO email address and send me an email from there. You surely know that all military personnel have this. If you cannot give me this or won’t give me this, then you are not a real soldier.
    4. Send me a picture of your CAC card.
    5. Send me a picture of you, holding a sign with my name on it and the date. Real time.
    Richard, if you think I am being an asshole asking you for all this, know this. I am NOT! I am protecting myself. I want to see if you are for real and if you are, why are you connected with a fake military site called “Military Admin”?? military@null.net The fact that you told me you have been dealing with them for a long time makes me very suspicious.
    If I don’t hear from you, I will know that you are not a real soldier. If you are offended by my asking you all this, so be it. The fact of the matter is…if you ARE real, and you really DO love Margie, then you would answer and do each of these things.
    Clarity is everything, and I will survive, no matter what! And you saying you are going to kill yourself? Don’t be dramatic. If you are real, you would never do that because you have a daughter. If you are not real, then you are just saying that to try to make me feel bad.

    Yes, I am posting his name as well. Richard Oliver Jude…supposedly from Dallas, Texas. It’s been 3 days, and I have had no reply. Somehow I am not surprised!

    Scamming is a world wide operation. These low life’s make many million dollars off lonely people. They don’t care if you are old, have cancer, whatever. They prey on lonely people…mostly women. So be smart and know that if it is too good to be true, it usually almost always IS!!
    I truly hope this will be of help to many of you who are asking and wondering…who are hanging on to what you think may be “real love”… COMMON SENSE AND DISCERNMENT. STAY AWAY AND BE SAFE!

  • Diane March 10, 2016, 9:29 pm

    I have been talking to soldier in Afiganistan. He is an officer and spent a career in the army. My question, is there a special funding for coomanders receive if they are married.? Is this part of their retirement when retiring? This man wanted me fill out a form from Nidgetia stating we are married. Also a fee of 1000?to process fee. When this is done he will be granted retirement and the funds would come to
    Me. Has anyone else received anything like this? This man claims to be a 4 star General? Sounds to good to be true. I have not replied to him

  • Dorothy March 19, 2016, 9:38 pm

    Yes it’s a scam I’m into the same mess been on line about a month with Phillip Ivan Mensah into the messages about two weeks he started asking me for $450.00 to come home on says he love me so much don’t ever believe hin trust your instincts

  • Christi March 27, 2016, 11:43 am

    Does anyone know seargent SNIPER deployed in Western Africa says he is from Indiana n has an 8 yr old son named Jack? His name is Tanner Roland McDonnell birthrate June 5th 1975

  • Julie r April 12, 2016, 1:34 am

    Yes Stanley Knox – seemed almost plausible till he asked if I could send him a phone! Supposedly a US marine deployed in west Africa, was on twoo, I asked for Facebook and its there but mainly loads of girls on there and not many pictures of ‘Stanley’.I had my suspicions and the minute he said his phone was dodgy I knew!I had asked a few times for proof of who he is,always an excuse.luckily I’ve seen catfish so I am aware of this kind of stuff lol

  • Lisa April 16, 2016, 12:22 am

    How old is this letter from your boyfriend? Days, months, years? Are you currently involved with him as of today 4/15/2016?

  • Ofelia Galapia April 17, 2016, 1:48 pm

    Hi there! My name is Ofelia. I do have concerns about these scams since i myself was a victim of it. Are soldiers allowed to give out their AKO email address? I asked this information to a soldier i met online before and he said at first that he doesn’t have one. Then changed to it is not a mandatory to have one until ge said he doesn’t know it. Is this information something they can actually share with other people? Also if a soldier tells you that he went to Nigeria to help a relative with a business but unfortunately needs to renew his passport and asks for help on that is that the same as all other scams out there?

    Hoping to get clarifications on these things. Thank you for continuing to give us assistance and information that greatly helps us avoid these scams.

    • Stacey Abler April 27, 2016, 8:32 pm

      The email address can be given to anyone – there’s nothing secretive about it. As for the money for renewing his passport, that’s a scam.

  • Katie April 19, 2016, 7:04 pm

    Do you still have these pictures. If so I would love to see them I fearful that I am being scammed by him as well.

  • juanita May 3, 2016, 11:14 pm

    met sergeant dollard graham deployed in nigeria texting for 6 months has anyone else had this person contact them and is he part of these scams

  • Linda McGuinness May 10, 2016, 1:39 pm

    I have been texting someone who says he’s in US military.As he is deployed in west Africa he says he cannot ask for leave and I have to email,is this right or am I being scammed

  • Angie May 16, 2016, 5:22 pm

    My boyfriend is in AIT will be graduating soon. He plans to marry me and have a legal court marriage. I’m 18 years old and still don’t have a driver license only permit. Current living in Hawaii. Do I need my driver license according to be with my spouse?

  • Joyce May 17, 2016, 7:46 pm

    I have been talking to four supposed military gentlemen. Has anyone talked to cris smith, Brian Massingale, George Rudy or Chris gordon. I am trying to find out if I am being scammed because they will not give me their APO to send mail and one has asked me to help him pay for his leave. They all say they love me and want to be with me. I am having my doubts.

  • Sonia December 15, 2016, 7:37 pm

    Does anybody heard of Steve Frank Rock, who supposed to be stationed in Yemen. Has two kids, boy & girl in Washington DC. We been texting for a year and a half and never asked me for money, until now that he asked me for BTA money or airline won’t let him get on the plane. Do soldiers have to pay BTA , when they flying back to the USA when they retiring? Now he says he will comit suicide so that the Taliban will kill him. I told him if he loved his kuds, he wouldn’t hurt them. He is passed cause I don’t believe him about the BTA. Do they have to pay that when going back to the U.S?

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