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Ask An Army Spouse: Dating a Soldier Online Scam

These scams where you believe you are dating a soldier are becoming more and more common. They seem to come up with new ways to run the scam on a daily basis. If the person you are speaking to requests money in any form, cut off all communication. Here are some more signs you’re involved in a dating scam.

Scam: Form Letter to Request Time Off

Hi.. i have a .. I found a soldier online.. We have been talking for quite sometime and he says he loves me.. Well I just found out that he was courting two women. Myself and another women.. I mean he was playing us both. He was even writing us the same letters.. Like a cut an paste thing.. Well us girls found out about each other and busted him.. Well to make things short.. He ended up picking me.. I am leery about everything he says now.. I don’t know if he is really in love with me or just playing me to get some time off.. See he wants to marry me he says.. He wants me to write a letter to the army requesting time off so we CAN get married.. I am not sure if this is a scam that the guys pull, to keep themselves busy..He doesn’t want to talk about where we will go when he gets back.. My house or his house.. Just keeps saying we can talk about if and when he gets leave time.. Do you think I am being paranoid or now that he has made his decision and picked me. Is he sincere.. He isn’t going to use me for time off and then blow me off when he gets back to the states.. I need some advice.. I really like him and I want to trust him.. But need to know if this is what the men do for amusement.. Up for any suggestions and advice.. Thanks Michelle

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The entire thing would make me very leery, personally. The thing that sticks out most to me is him asking you to write to request time off for him so he can get married. This is simply not how the Army works. The Army does not process requests for time off from the girlfriend (or wife for that matter) of a soldier. It is up to him to put in a request for time off. Some units will not even allow individual time off and the soldier can only have leave when the unit as a whole takes it.

You didn’t mention if he is deployed, but I’m willing to bet that after you request his leave time, he will then request money to be able to take the leave. Nearly every scam I’ve been informed of in the past few months has included this.

He should also be willing to tell you where he is, where he is stationed, where you would both live after getting married, etc. Do you know what unit he is assigned to? Has he given you an AKO email address (his name @ us.army.mil)? I would definitely ask more questions. And if he asks you for money, you should cut off contact with him.

Good luck!

Scam: Sending Email to Request Phone Line and Paying For It

I have been chatting with a man who said he is in the Army and is in Iraq. he would like to talk on the phone and said there is protocol to follow. I am to send a e-mail requesting to get connected with him, he said there is a fee and then all calls are free.  He also mentioned something about registering and then I can request for him to get leave. This is the first time I have ever done anything like this and I am not sure its real. Is there a way to find out if this person is really in the Army? Any suggestions would be great. Thank you.

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I am afraid this is most likely a scam. When soldiers are overseas, there is no reason for other people to be paying for their communication. They make more money when they are deployed than when they are stateside and generally have less expenses. Also, almost every post in Iraq and Afghanistan has MWR phone lines available where the soldiers can call home at no charge.

There is also no reason for you to request for him to get leave. This is something that he has to do. The Army is not going to recognize a leave request from a civilian. In other cases that I have been informed of, the request is typically granted and then an outrageous amount of money (in the thousands) is requested to purchase a flight. This is a scam as well as soldiers do not have to pay for their flights in or out of Iraq or Afghanistan.

I’m sorry he has tried to scam you.

Scam: Paying for an Internet Connection Overseas

I have met a soldier online,  seems nice. We have beem talking for quite sometime now and he says he’s deployed to Afghanistan and will be going to iraq for 3months so he will not be able to chat online. He told me to write to ts2militarycall. They wrote back saying I should subscribe with a fee of 524. What I want to know is are there no internet connections in Iraq and is there a cheaper way to call? He says he’s a sergeant. Is this another scam?

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Yes, this is a scam. In almost all cases, he has access to the internet as well as phones through the MWR in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Depending on where he is, he may not be able to call very often but it would be very unlikely for it to be completely impossible. There’s also no reason why YOU should be paying for it. He makes more money as a deployed soldier than he makes when he is stateside. If he wants additional communication capabilities, he can easily afford the cost to do it.

I’m sorry.

Scam: Paying for His Leave from Overseas

I have a few concerns and i need to know if my gut instinct is telling me the right thing, before someone i care for ends up seerioulsy hurt or scammed for money she doesn’t have. My sister has been speaking with a guy who is in the army and is apparently a sargent. He has been telling her that he will be coming to see her when he can get a leave. Also, she should be getting a verification number shortly from the base , and then she will be gettting his leave money as he has put her down as his next of kin. this money will not be in a cheque form as the army has to be careful of fraud. therefore they will be using western union for the transaction. I have tried to tell my sister this all sounds like a hoax, but she is falling for this MIKE guy fast. He apparently has 2 children who attend a boarding school. I can not for the life of me , see how this so called sargent would want to give up his life long ambition in the army to be the boyfriend of a woman who he has never personally met. Do you have any insight to this concern. if my thoughts are true, how do i break this news to her.
Look forward to hearing from you SOON.

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This is a scam. There is no transfer of funds when they go on leave. The Army pays for their leave during a deployment. They will pay for them to travel to any destination they choose. The only requirement is that they fly back to the combat zone from the same location. I’m sorry.

Scam: Completing Leave Forms to Return from Deployment

I met a girl online. For two months she seemed nice. Then she said I could request leave on her behalf and she gave me an email address. I wrote to it. They answered immediately asking me to fill out 1 form. I did it. The next day they asked me to Western Union $2350 to her replacement in Ecuador and she would be granted leave within 12 hrs. After this, since I had been skeptical for a while, I called her on it and she erupted. The forms have two other “officers” names on them. The forms were so bogus. They listed the Dept of Defense at an address not in the Pentagon, but at Washington DC, WA. Since I called her on the scam, she said I better be careful before I get myself in trouble and that she knows where I live and my child’s name. Is this a common scam? Should I be worried? I have all the forms and documentation and IP address. Help me.

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This is becoming a very common scam. First, the military does not ask civilians (relatives or otherwise) to write to request leave for a soldier. This is all handled by the soldier. Secondly, there would not be an exchange of money involved with it.

Quite a few that have contacted me about similar scams have said they and their families were threatened when they refused to send money (or refused to send more money). If I were in your shoes, I would contact the authorities in your area. You may also contact a CID (Criminal Investigation Division) for the branch of service she was claiming to be.

About the author: Stacey is an Army wife of a soldier who joined in 2003. He has since been medically retired but she continues to provide information to Army wives and families to make their adjustment to the Army lifestyle easier. Connect with Stacey: Facebook Twitter Pinterest

{ 224 comments… add one }
  • Sonia December 15, 2016, 7:37 pm

    Does anybody heard of Steve Frank Rock, who supposed to be stationed in Yemen. Has two kids, boy & girl in Washington DC. We been texting for a year and a half and never asked me for money, until now that he asked me for BTA money or airline won’t let him get on the plane. Do soldiers have to pay BTA , when they flying back to the USA when they retiring? Now he says he will comit suicide so that the Taliban will kill him. I told him if he loved his kuds, he wouldn’t hurt them. He is passed cause I don’t believe him about the BTA. Do they have to pay that when going back to the U.S?

  • Aline ness June 19, 2017, 2:42 pm

    I met this army guy online and then he was shipped out to Allepo, Syria about month ago and now we have decided we want to be together and he talked with his CC officer told him to have me write and ask personal leave , so I did and supposedly it was approved. I have text to verify all this, . Then he and his CC officer got price for one way ticket to my home state which was 1700$ and then was told I needed to send a money gran to a certain address with the receipt and l was to let them know when he arrived ! He says the reason I need to pay is because he doesn’t have enough time over there for army to fly him out !! I’m thinking this Don’t make sense plus all emails I sent went to a .com address . I would think army would be .gov. This is just not adding up but wanted a second opinion!! Thank you for any help you can give me ! Sincerely Aline

  • Lori Walden July 3, 2017, 11:14 am

    I have been talking to a guy who says he’s stationed in Iraq and from North Carolina. Says his name is Michael Higgenbothem and he’s a sargent in the army. After taking for a couple weeks on a “DoD” phone he has asked me to empty my credit card and give him the number, that he would keep it safe. He is trying to have the army financier wire money so I can help his ailing mother. We have talked for hours and he has expressed his love to me. After having just gotten out of an abusive marriage I’m feeling sick that this is probably a scam and he’s been playing with me. I got on to look up the security he reassured me there was on his phone if I send my card info. Something didn’t sit right with me. Please tell me if my suspicions are right. I hoped it was legitimate, that id found an amazing guy. Shame on these people! Yesterday we even got in an argument about trust and he’d said it hurt him. That was my first red flag. Enough time has passed now since we started talking that I’ve been really falling in love with him! He too like others here has never said where he’d live when he’s out. Only that he’s trying as soon as he can to be released from service to care for his mother, daughter, and me. I REALLY didn’t want this to be a scam 🙁

  • Heather July 10, 2017, 8:25 am

    I meant a guy who says I need to send 500 to the Un so he could get a EEPC DR. ANTHONY Williams James in Tel Bide Base in Syria he has even sent pics I need to know the truth if it is him or not?? Thanks

  • Michelle July 11, 2017, 1:14 am

    I met a guy named Alex Wayne and he says he is army. He has been in Army for almost 35 years. He says he is a 2 star major general. He is asking me to fill out a vacation form for him as his wife. Can I do that? How can I find out if he is lying?

  • Ann Lowes July 11, 2017, 3:16 am

    I recieved a green army wife form for cory michael bristol its an 80a form hes a marine at patterson camp ohio.. It says pay §268 to a gonzalez

  • Lala July 12, 2017, 6:18 pm

    Meet a guy on the internet ..chatted back and forth for a long long time..
    Now he tells me I need to register as his girlfriend in order for us to talk on the phone..is that true? Sounds fishy..i asked why he said security clearance..
    Somebody please shed some light on this..
    Thank you.
    Sincerely….
    Suspicious

  • criselda July 17, 2017, 2:20 am

    i met a guy on online he wantS to request me for him vacation but he said i need to pay $100 for fiancee form this is true ? that for request of fiancee form have fee

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