These stories were submitted by site visitors. Enjoy!
submitted by Alisha
I started dating my boyfriend when I was 15 he was 17.
We fell in love quickly, after dating for about a year, and he was 18 he
told me some army recruiters had stopped by during lunch at school and
they said he had potential physically after completing a pt test with
him. he immediately began processing into the military. I didn’t really
know what to expect. I was supportive, but I didn’t really know what I
was in for either.
The day he left was hard but it still hadn’t hit me, but a few weeks
later I became really depressed. I missed him, a lot. Things became
easier as I received many letters over the course of the 16 weeks of btc
and ait, until we found out he would be stationed in Germany.
Initially I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do, how to feel, and I
didn’t know what to say. I wanted to be supportive but at the same time,
I was still in high school, it was a really rough piece of news to
Eventually I decided that id stay with him, I went to his graduation, it
was so nice to see him again. He was a new person, filled with pride. We
spent a few weeks of leave together, and off he went to Germany. The day
he left was so hard for me, and him as well.
He was infantry and trained a lot but he made time to call me every
night when he wasn’t in the field. We maintained what relationship we
We remained in love and missed each other very much. He came home every 6 months for about 2 weeks at a time. We went through a lot of hard times. I hated the army, I wanted him to quit, he wanted to quit, we fought a lot, but we never ever broke up (we wanted to get married but I had failed my senior year because I missed to much school, because I was extremely depressed)
About 2 years into his career he got deployed, I was devastated, but I
remained strong over the phone, I tried to be as supportive as
Thankfully he went back to Germany safely. Soon after he injured his
ankle during training, he broke his ankle, ultimately he got med
boarded, and came home in 2007.
He misses army life. In 2008 I started thinking about joining, he
supported me, told me probably everything I need to know, answered all
of my questions and I joined the army as a dental specialist September
2009. I’m delayed entry until march. Isn’t it ironic? We are very
excited, and interested to literally walk in each others shoes.
We plan to get married after I join. January 11 2010 will be our five
year anniversary and after everything I wouldn’t change a thing.
If I could give any advice it would be to remain strong in yourself, and
remain strong for your soldier. They need your support the most.
submitted by Angelina
Hi!! I’m Angelina. I’m 20 years old, and I’m the very proud girlfriend of a U.S. Army Soldier!! He and I always joke that our story would make such a good movie =]
I met my soldier 5 years ago while hanging out with his older brother – my best friend at the time. I was sitting in the den, watching everyone play video games while my soldier was on his computer listening to music next to me. Dirty Deeds by AC/DC came on. I looked over at him, and we both broke out singing. As cliche as it sounds, it was then that we fell in love with each other. He thought I was the coolest girl ever for knowing the words to a song few other girls would, and I simply thought he was amazing.
I could say that after that, the rest is history and we lived happily ever after from that moment on, but that would be lying. Things got in the way, and we both dated other people and went on with our lives for 4 years, though we always remained friends. In the Spring of ’08, he joined the Army and went off to Ft Knox for basic training soon after. I figured that was it for us. I’d lost my chance. Little did I know, that was just the start.
A few nights after he’d returned home from Basic Training, I had a dream that he’d come home where I ran up to him, surprised and ecstatic that he was back. I told him about the dream, we began talking on a regular basis, and soon after, we started dating. Everyone thought I was crazy for committing to someone who would be stationed halfway across the country, but he and I knew it was right. We’d waited for this for 4 years. We weren’t giving up our chance.
It’s been almost a year since then, and he’s been deployed in Iraq for the past 9 months, but I don’t regret my decision, and I wouldn’t have my life any other way. Sure, there are days that I’d rather not get out of bed, when I’m lonely and all I want to do is cry. Of course, I’m angry sometimes, and I get so sick of playing the waiting game and having no control while he’s deployed. Yes, there are times that I think I’m crazy for choosing this life, when I could have it so much easier if I’d wanted. But that’s not what life, or love, is about. It’s about going for what you want, taking chances, falling down just to get back up and do it again. And if that’s what it takes to be with my soldier, then throw anything you want at me - I’ll get through. I’m Army Strong, too.
I hope this helped out or gave hope or comfort to those of you who are also dating a soldier and/or are in a similar situation to mine. I know it gets rough, and sometimes, all we need to know is that we’re not alone, that someone else understands and is doing it too. We’ve all got to stick together and support each other in any way we can!!
submitted by Jessica
Hi, my name is Jessica and I was the girlfriend and then the fiancé of an Army Ranger.
My husband enlisted in July of 2003, only months after we had invaded Iraq. Needless to say, I was not thrilled with his decision. We had already been dating for a year and a half and a good amount of that time was long distance. I was attending the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, Virginia and he was in Northern California with his parents when he made the decision to enlist. I was scared of the thought of him going to war, but even more scared that this new lifestyle would make us grow apart. But I decided to give it a shot and hope that we could make it through this, and we did!
Basic Training began in October of that same year and I don’t remember it being terrible. We both wrote a lot of letters and he called me whenever he could. I was able to attend his Basic Training graduation, which conveniently fell on Valentine’s Day weekend. I saw him again after his RIP graduation – this time he came to see me. We spent an amazing week together but saying good-bye proved more difficult than before. Although there were no deployment orders (yet) I knew in my heart that the minute he arrived at his duty station he would be gone. Sure enough, about a week after he had arrived at 1st Ranger Battalion, I got the call. He was schedule to deploy to Iraq in a matter of days. I was a junior in college and had no way of just picking up and leaving for Georgia. So I had to say my good-byes over the phone. That was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do. To make matters worse, when he arrived from that first deployment, I was not there to greet him. Only wives were notified of the unit’s arrival and they were the only ones allowed on the airfield when their plane landed.
My husband proposed before his second deployment. At that point, I became the sole beneficiary of his life insurance policy and he granted me power of attorney. This proved to be a frustrating task as he was repeatedly asked if he was sure he wanted to leave that kind of power to someone he was not married to. Although I had complete control over his finances and legal matters, I was still not an Army wife. This meant I could not be included in phone trees or any kind of support system. I truly felt like I was discriminated against by the larger Army community for not being married. I was never able to see him off on any of his deployments (a total of 3) and was only able to be there for his homecoming once.
Even when my husband was state side, life was not much easier. I was in Virginia and he was in Georgia, so I felt like I was constantly out of the loop. My cell phone was my best friend during this time because it was my main link to him. We tried to see each other as much as we could, but at best we were together once a month. So did this lifestyle put a strain on our relationship? Of course it did, but in the end, it brought us closer together. We made the best out of the time we were together and got to know so much more about each other from the endless hours of cell phone talk. This time apart established the strong trusting relationship we have now.
My husband and I got married in March of 2007, almost a year after he was honorably discharged from active duty. When I think back to his Army days, the hardest part of being an Army Girlfriend/Fiancé was the fact that I had no support system of any kind. During his deployments, I had no one who could remotely understand what I was going through. Although my college friends tried to help, they just couldn’t understand what I was feeling during those difficult times.
The lack of a support system for Army Girlfriends/Fiancés is just one of the many reasons why this site is so useful. I wish I would have know about Married to the Army and Army Wife Chat when my husband was in the Army and especially during his deployments. It definitely would have helped a lot! But at the end of the day, this experience made me a stronger person and has resulted in the addition of many great friends.
submitted by Katie
I meet my fiance 7 months ago. yes that’s short but I know with every bone in my body its right. It all started one night when I couldn’t sleep I was online and just in those stupid AOL chat rooms, when this guy IM’d me.
We started talking and he told me he was in the army and even sent me pictures, he was stationed in South Korea at the time for a year but only had 3 months left. We talked that night for 6 hours straight and every night after that for 6,7,8 hours on end. We connected so much it was like I knew him my whole life.
He asked me if I would be his girlfriend and I said yes. With today’s technology we talked every night, he called me when he could (because of the time difference) and we would video chat all the time as well. We dated his last 3 months in Korea and he had bought a ticket to come see me after he got home for a week, he’s from Boston and I live in PA. About 2-3 weeks before he was to leave Korea he broke up with me. My heart was broken, but we made an agreement to stay friends and that I would still visit him in Ft. Drum, where he was stationed next. When he got back to Boston we still talked everyday on the phone, online, thru texts everything. It was like we never broke up. Then he tried to date someone else, but still talked and flirted with me like crazy.
Needless to say the one day I couldn’t hold my feelings back anymore and told him that I still loved him, and he said he still loved me too. I asked him why he broke up with me and he said it was too good to be true, I am his perfect match and he can see me being his wife the rest of his life. We got back together, and last weekend he had a 4 day weekend so he came to see me, for the first time in person. Let’s just say that every girl has that dream where there prince sweeps them off there feet, this was my dream come true. The weekend was amazing and he asked me to marry him. We are planning to do a Justice of the Peace ceremony by July hopefully for now, because he wants to be married to me before he leaves for Afghanistan, which we are not sure yet when that will be.
All I can say is that yes, most people think I’m crazy for meeting my fiance online, and only knowing him for 7 months and then getting married so soon. But when you are in love and you know it, you have that feeling of absolute certainty you should never let it go. I have never been more certain about anything in my life, and I can’t wait to be his wife. The first year or so will be rough with his deployment but we’ve made it this far we can get through anything.
**I have an update. I got married the day after Easter, April 5, 2010. I couldn’t be more happy with the life I have been given and the man that makes my life complete. As of now I am not living with my husband due to the fact that I am going to finish school first but I talk to him everyday and night and we try to see each other on weekends. Well just wanted to let you all know.
submitted by Keisha
My experience as dating a solider is way different than I first expected it to be. At first, I was begging him not to sign up and all I could think about is negative thoughts. But as time went out I learn to support his decision of joining the Army and over time I as so happy that he decided to go. We have been dating for three years but have known each other for six. At first during bootcamp was a little hard but then I got used to not expecting a call everyday. It was just hard going from seeing that person and talking to them everyday to only communication through mail. And then during AIT he had more chances to call me.
The big big tip is to be patient and do not expect anything. I feel like if you expect a phone call or something and then don’t get it then you are more likely to be disappointed. Also, be very supportive. They look for someone to stick by them even through the hard times and trust me being patient is so worth it and from my experience it has been a good thing (I just recently got engaged!!!). Trust is also a good thing to remember, most of the time you will be away from your solider so if you have a good trusting relationship that will help a lot. Me and my soldier live about 12 hours away and I only see him about four days every month and we try to cherish those few days we have with each other. In the end, I am so excited that I am going to be an Army wife!!
submitted by Lindsey
Hi, my name is Lindsey and this is my story. It all started when I was six years old. My family and I had just moved to a new town and we had just settled in. I was such a sociable child so it was not hard for me to make new friends. My older brother, Nick, joined boy scouts, with my father as his troop leader. And that is when I met Raymond. At first we were like any other 6-7 year olds. I was a MAJOR tom-boy when I was younger. I tagged along when my father and brother went to boy scouts and soon became good friends with Ray.
As we grew older our relationship fluctuated. One moment we were friends, the next enemy’s, and finally we dated. It only lasted a week, in middle school, and we didn’t really get the whole “dating” thing. A few years later we grew closer. It was my junior year, his senior, and we were in the same class together. Every day we talked, laughed, and joked around like old friends do. At the end of the school year Ray and I fooled our friend, Tom, by making him think we were dating. This act went on for about two weeks. And then we broke up. It was the most HILARIOUS fake break up ever! A week or so went by and we were still laughing at our success. And that’s when we realized, dating each other was actually kind of fun.
I worked up the nerve to ask him to be my boyfriend, for real this time. He said yes but on one condition. “You know, I’ll probably break up with you before boot camp
right?” he said, I just shrugged it off. The first week or so it was awkward, like dating your brother. After a month or so I started falling for this boy. Two months in and then came the bad news. “Do you really have to go?” I asked him, come on you all know you’ve asked once or twice. So I packed his bags, because lets face it, the boy can’t pack, and I watched him say his goodbyes to his family. I was the last person he hugged. They got a picture of us hugging, me bawling my eyes out, he was impatient with a hint of excitement and worry, and his recruiter in the background….laughing. I hate that picture. I couldn’t watch the car drive away.
After what seemed like the LONGEST three weeks of my life, he called. I cried. While at boot camp he called every Sunday for a half an hour. We wrote letters back and forth, me being a writer pouring my soul onto those papers, him being not much of a writer writing “Miss you too, yes I’m fine, Can you send me a picture I miss seeing your face.” Boot camp was finally over. I bought a plane ticket to South Carolina to go to his graduation. He was not the same person. We had dinner in the mess hall and every thing I did he was like “Stop that”, or “You look foolish”. This was not the boy I grew up with. I also felt very insecure when I went to SC. He was MUCH skinnier, though I never saw him as fat, and I, even though I lost 10 pounds, still looked like a cow compared to everyone else.
We parted, he was headed to Alabama for AIT, I was headed back home. He got his laptop and phone privileges and I thought I was in heaven. The months passed, and although we hadn’t physically spent a lot of time together, I was falling for him. He called me on my 18th birthday at midnight. He came home for Christmas and I was the happiest girl alive! Ray was back to his old self. A friend of mine, who is much older and wiser, has been through what I have been through and she says it happens to all of them. Boot camp breaks them down, but once they get their freedoms back they revert back to who they used to be….but not fully. He was still the boy I fell in love with, but now he was a man.
New Years changed my life. I had been telling myself I would stay a virgin until I was at least out of college, so I wouldn’t end up pregnant, even though I was on birth control. But new years eve…..something clicked. I won’t go into details but, it was the most awkward, magical, hilarious, romantic, freezing cold, experience of my life…And I loved every minute of it. And then he left me…again. As he was hugging me at the airport I held back tears and I whispered “You know, this is the third time I’ve had to watch you walk away from me?”. All he could say was “I love you”.
The months passed and March rolled around. Ray’s aunt was dying. Instead of taking the two weeks leave he had to come to my prom and graduation, he used them on visiting her. I am so glad he did. Prom sucked anyways. I took him out to dinner, wore my prom dress a month before I was supposed to, and paid. He was happy about the dress and dinner (at his favorite restaurant) but he was mad that I wouldn’t let him pay. He left again, after his two weeks, back to Florida. July 4th weekend I flew down with his mom and uncle to visit him in Florida. That was the best vacation of my life. We were on the white sands of Destin beach when he leaned over, kissed my forehead, and whispered “I love you more than breathing.” I melted! For some time I thought he was going to ask me to marry him. I thought he would do it in Florida, I mean it was SO ROMANTIC. But it didn’t happen. The day I left Florida for home was also the day he left Florida for Oklahoma. That last night was magical. We spent all night talking, just lying in each others arms. And then I fell asleep.
When I woke, (we had a room to ourselves), he was no where to be found. I knew he was leaving that same day, but I thought he would have at least woken me up to say goodbye. I rolled over, disappointed, and I heard a crinkling noise. There was a note on my pillow. “Good morning babe. I didn’t want to wake you, but I had PT this morning. I should be back by 5:30. I love you.” I smiled and looked at the clock. It was 4:45 in the morning. I think I woke up because I felt the absence of his body next to mine. I fell back asleep, tired as hell. When I woke up I was facing the bedside table. The clock read 6:30. His plane left at 9:00. “Shit” I thought as I turned over, afraid I had missed him. And who did I see? Raymond, smiling down on me.
“How…What..Whe…” I babbled. He leaned down and kissed me. He told me he came back from PT and saw me still sleeping, note in hand, and decided to take a shower while he had the chance. He said he was watching me sleep, laughing every time I snored or made a funny face. I was so embarrassed, before Florida we had never slept in the same bed, let alone the same house! My cheeks flushed and he told me not to worry, It was “cute”. We parted ways and prayed that he would come home soon. His stay in OK only lasted a month or so. The day Raymond came home was the day his Aunt died. Everyone, including myself, were gathered at her house.
Judy had Down Syndrome. She was the sweetest woman I had ever met. Everyone was gathered at her house, and I know it sounds bad, but we were waiting for her to die, waiting for the suffering to end. We all thought she was waiting for him. She just wasn’t strong enough to wait any longer. Judy died about an hour before Ray got home. He was a wreck. I accompanied him to the wake and funeral.
Believe it or not, life went on a little while after that. Ray was home for a month. That’s when I heard the bad news. He was being deployed to Korea. It seemed like that year had gone by so fast. He couldn’t be leaving me. September 4th he asked me to marry him. After July I had given up on hoping for things, because when they didn’t happen I was even more upset. I was in total shock. I don’t remember my exact answer, but obviously it was a yes. He left for Korea September 20th, 2009. Now I sit here, typing this letter, waiting for my soldier to come home, so we can get married!
1) be patient, regular relationships are hard enough as it is, but adding the military, boot camp, being in the field, and deployment…..it takes a big toll on the heart. If you are patient enough, love will find a way.
2) be supportive. you may not love the idea of your loved one going off, but the fact is, they are government property, they cant control their actions anymore, The Army says jump, they jump. If he jumps, you jump too. You may not like it, but tis life, and all he really needs right now is your love and support.
3)have fun! Respect the rules, but still be yourself, remind him/her of who you are, who they are, and what it was like before the Army. Its always good to laugh.
4) Stay strong. Keeping a strong image in front of your soldier lets them know you’re alright, even when you’re not. When they’re gone is the time to let it all out, but
5) NEVER break down in front of your soldier. yes it is ok to cry, or show concern, but if you can’t handle it, neither can they, They have as much stress as you, if not more. Breaking down just adds to their stress, and then they worry about you, and not about their job.
6) don’t distract your soldier. They are married to the Army first, you second. If you distract your soldier, even in the slightest, they may lose focus and hurt someone because they are not doing their job right.
7) You are married to the Army. Respect it. Learn it, Live it. Love it. There is really not much else to say about that.