I have talked about spouses not wearing their soldier’s rank in the past. But this is a little different twist. Don’t make judgments about me based on his rank either!
At my husband’s last unit, I was a key caller for the FRG. I had held this position for close to three years and actually enjoyed doing it. I attended all of the FRG meetings and tried to attend most of the events that were held. I firmly believed in participating and trying to make things better for families instead of just complaining about what wasn’t being done.
Then one day, right after change of command, I received a call from our company’s FRG leader. She told me that she hated to be asking this but she needed to know my husband’s rank. I asked why and she said she was given the directive by the new commander’s wife to find out the rank of any soldier who’s wife held any type of position within the FRG. So I told her (my husband was not high ranking).
She then proceeded to tell me that even though she personally did not agree with this, I would no longer be allowed to be a key caller because my husband was not a high enough rank. She apologized over and over again and you could tell she was truly embarrassed that she was even having to make this phone call.
I was furious. Not only have I never worn my husband’s rank, I don’t want to be judged by his rank either. His rank has nothing to do with my abilities and what I can accomplish. I was 31 years old at the time with a college degree running my own business. There was no reason why I couldn’t be trusted to make a few phone calls. Even if I was 18, fresh out of high school and married to an E-2, there would be no reason why I couldn’t be a volunteer with the FRG.
I am my own person. The rank my husband holds does not reflect on who I am, how much I know (or don’t) and what accomplishments and achievements I have made in my lifetime. Do not judge me based on his rank.
It made no sense whatsoever. One of the reasons why I was in the position I was in was because no one else wanted to do it. Why would you force wives with higher ranking soldiers to take on a volunteer position they don’t want when you have others who are willing to do it? Quite a few of us received those phone calls that day and were all told the same – our services were no longer needed because our husbands didn’t rank high enough on the totem pole.
Now, I’m sure you can imagine what kind of wife this commander’s wife was. She was the stereotypical officer’s wife. The one who gives all others a bad name. She was certainly THAT wife. She was like none I had ever run into before and I (along with most of the other wives) longed to have our previous commander and his wife back in charge.
So please, I beg you. Do not judge other spouses based on the rank of their soldier. The two likely have no correlation. You could be missing out on a great person and friend by judging based on his rank. Look at her for the person SHE is and nothing else.