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Real Soldier or Scam?

I have been chatting with a man who said he is in the Army and is in Iraq. he would like to talk on the phone and said there is protocol to follow. I am to send a e-mail requesting to get connected with him, he said there is a fee and then all calls are free.  He also mentioned something about registering and then I can request for him to get leave. This is the first time I have ever done anything like this and I am not sure its real. Is there a way to find out if this person is really in the Army? Any suggestions would be great. Thank you.


I am afraid this is most likely a scam. When soldiers are overseas, there is no reason for other people to be paying for their communication. They make more money when they are deployed than when they are stateside and generally have less expenses. Also, almost every post in Iraq and Afghanistan has MWR phone lines available where the soldiers can call home at no charge.

There is also no reason for you to request for him to get leave. This is something that he has to do. The Army is not going to recognize a leave request from a civilian. In other cases that I have been informed of, the request is typically granted and then an outrageous amount of money (in the thousands) is requested to purchase a flight. This is a scam as well as soldiers do not have to pay for their flights in or out of Iraq or Afghanistan.

I’m sorry he has tried to scam you.

About the author: Stacey is an Army wife of a soldier who joined in 2003. He has since been medically retired but she continues to provide information to Army wives and families to make their adjustment to the Army lifestyle easier. Connect with Stacey: Facebook Twitter Pinterest

{ 122 comments… add one }
  • Beate November 3, 2014, 2:19 pm

    I was in contact with a Paul Quarm. He is in Ghana. He told me a lot about love, he wants to come to me as soon as possible. We had phone calls too. He wants to send me Money for a flight to Germany. He sent me a pic from his army ID-Card. He was on it with a hat in Military clothes. I did not believe that they take such pics for an ID-Card. When i asked him today about his Military mail account, he became angry and blocked me in whatsapp and viber. I don’t trust him and he prefers to stay single forever. He is also on Facebook and I think he has stolen the pics from this account. I did not send Money and I hope for other women not to fall in with this man.

  • mary November 27, 2014, 9:28 pm

    Hi I have a question,I’ve also been talking to a supposed soldier I have asked him for his dd214 and he emailed me a copy it checked out and bis military. Address also checked out he wants to come home on leave but he did ask for 550. So I’m thinking scammer even though everything seemed to check out is there any other way I can check him out for sure

    • lisa December 14, 2014, 9:40 am

      He’s fake! I am serious, no soldier will ask for money, ever! He might have given you a real military adddress of someone but check his I.P address. Please educate yourself as much as possible. Know the difference in the rank insignia and the difference in the uniforms of each military branch including the difference in the winter and summer uniforms as well as the desert and mountain soldiers different uniforms. Learn the guns so you can question them on their pictures. Pay extreme attention to detail in pictures. Blow up the pictures and look at every little thing. A soldier will be very pleased that you can tell the difference in guns and uniforms. That makes you interesting to him. The more you learn the faster you can tell if he’s a fake or not. Be smart and keep going. You will fine one thats real.

      • Johnna Raida April 1, 2015, 7:40 pm

        What’s IP address

  • April December 16, 2014, 12:02 am

    I don’t really go anywhere to meet people so I resort to the internet. I have cared for people all my life.and have such a huge heart so when I saw an ad on Craigslist “I am stationed in Afghanistan and need to come home. I reque#ted for leave but could not trll anyone well now I am -$5,000 in my bank account and on disability. Thank God I have an amazing church that paid my rent for me. Now I owe my bank, they took $3.00 I had in my savings. I now have to get on a payment plan. No matter how much of a sweet talker he is, if it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, it is a rat. I just wish I didn’t have a heart.

  • sue January 7, 2015, 8:35 am

    My sister has been communicating with a Christopher Zaczyk on facebook initially and now through yahoo messenger. He advised that his parents were dead and that his wife left him for another man. They have only been talking for about 6 weeks but he is in love with her and wants to marry her!!! I believe that this is a scam but cannot get my sister to listen to me. He has requested $105 dollars for a phone line that she advised she could not do right now. Then he asked her to request leave for him but she says she did not do that either. Now he is asking her to let him send his stuff (a box) and his dog to her as he is being sent to Syria today from Africa and cannot take anything with him. Has anyone had contact with a Christopher Zaczyk , a lt. in the untied states army? Please help me to save my sister!!!

  • lynn January 9, 2015, 2:43 pm

    my sister is dating a guy overseas if he gets shoot and put in the hosiptal does he still need her money from home.

  • Angie January 24, 2015, 1:26 am

    On my facebook account somebody request me to add him,US peacekeeper assign in Iraq..Few days after chatting he sai he had a problem he wants to resign..and go home. He ask me to request for aleave cause thats the only way that there commander will grant their leave..But the request form is not free Im goin to pay it for 250$..and sent it to an agent in nigeria..Thats why I i am curiuos..I have to ask him so many thing that could prove hes not a scammer..like picture in uniform,he gave me the fb account of his commander,and Im so thankful that the personnel in WESTERN UNION warn me that thers a lot of scammer in Nigeria..Thats why i surf on internet..And here it is I prove to myself his a scammer..He use his masculine handsome personality to attract women..thats why being curious is sometimes goo..be careful to this kind of person..try to surf in internet if your doubtful with what they ask you…Thanks a lot..

  • Amanda bishop February 2, 2015, 9:36 am

    Joeyeckhoff contact my by face book to be his friend I accepted he told me he is in Kabul and asked my to call him which I did but the number i think should start with 0093 but I dailed +23354,……

  • latoya February 14, 2015, 7:15 pm

    I met this guy claiming he is in military ,he has pictures of him in military suit he goes by the name johnsoon , we suppose to be dating after being suspicious and reading all these information , I have a feeling he is fake I want to make sure and if he is fake I want the person whos picture he is using no what is going on he goes by an email address of fredjonny06@gmail.com ,please help me no if he is fake soldier thank u

  • Anita March 16, 2015, 10:50 pm

    This guy says he’s in Kabul never asks for money but gave me an address in Nigeria now his back in Kabul seems ledgit just seems to good to be true.

  • Valarie March 17, 2015, 1:22 pm

    I have been dating this guy who says he’s in the army but he’s on deployment. he seems like a nice guy I want to Believe him. He says he’s in love with me and we’ve gotten really close. But recently he said his daughter was in the hospital and his sis whom was talking care of her was broke and he asked me if I could send 500.00.because his daughter was taken to A private hospital . How do I check up on this? Is this a scam also

    • donand3015 May 16, 2016, 11:16 pm

      It is a scam. His tricare should pay for it. Had similiar experience. He wanted me to pay a little over two thousand so daughter coyld have emergency surgery for ruptured appendix. I refused. Eventually surgery performed after two weeks. He was good even gave me a email for daughter a month prior. Than a email to contact dr. I contacted hospital where his supposed daughter was. No dr associated with the name i was given at the hospital. Keep your money in your wallwlet

  • myriamsantos March 25, 2015, 9:18 pm

    I mmet a army soldier on tagged we text on watsapp he said hes in the army nigeria he told me for us to talk on the phone i had to email to the marines commander and do register calling commander email me back saying the call billing is $150.00

    • Killabeauty8 October 10, 2015, 3:38 pm

      What was his name

  • virginia davis March 27, 2015, 3:34 pm

    This person bravehall147@yahoo.com has been texting and sent me pictures of him in uniform how can I find out if he is real

  • kathy March 30, 2015, 7:16 pm

    I have been talking to a captain in sryia he says he needs 20,000 to take a jet out of Syria cause the red cross will no longer fly in there.Is this true?

  • Lori April 2, 2015, 4:56 pm

    Can you please tell me if this guy is in the army or not. His name is captain Graves Lowe. He saying that I would have to pay for the refundable registration fees I what to know before I do anything. Thank you

    • Bridget December 10, 2015, 10:48 pm

      I am Bridget and I have been talking to and sending money to Captain Graves Lowe now for over a year and two months now. He told me that he was in the army and I have several pictures of him. There is more that i can tell you and i am to so confused right now

    • Bridget December 10, 2015, 10:59 pm

      Lori please contact me i think that we have some things we need to talk about because i don’t think that that he is what or who he says he is.

    • Bridget January 8, 2016, 7:35 pm

      Lori i dont know you but please contact me i have some information for you about CApt GRaves Lowe.

  • myriamsantos April 6, 2015, 6:36 am

    ive been talking to a soldier nigeria i meet him online dating site tagged he ask me to register calling fee is $150 he also told me hes asking commander request leave and that commander well ask me questions about hes leave

  • Lin April 13, 2015, 2:05 am

    Hello , my name is Lin , i am living in the UK , i am 55 years old … a man starts chatting to me over the dating site freedating co.uk …. in his profile is nothing about his profession , in our first chat he was telling me he is an American soldier located in Chad , and he asked me if that would be a problem for me , of course it is not …… but after a 1.5 year online disaster with a man in ireland , i am very careful and was looking about scam at dating sites …. I don’t want to accuse him as a scam , but things are similar to all this stories here , he is divorced and later his wife died, he have three kids living with his mother in Germany, well i am German living in the UK , and his father was American and his Mother is British … he was raised in Baltimore, Maryland is serving 18 years in the Army , but he is living in the UK when he is free and would see his children and mother in the UK ….. he send me pictures (if it is his picture) and with his kids …..
    his email is daniel.david285@yahoo.com , i don’t know if i am paranoid now , but i don’t want to start something what might end in tears again , please if anybody can give an advice , do it ….
    Thank you Lin

  • Eve April 14, 2015, 2:44 pm

    I was messaging a guy who said he was Lt. Col.James Carter Smith. He promised me everything and said that the fact I have Cancer it didn’t bother him. He asked me to help him which I did as I would help anyone. Anyway just to let you ladies know about him and his name on Facebook is Jimmy Carter Smith. Hope that this helps you all.

  • Belinda May 27, 2015, 8:31 am

    I have met someone called Miranda Hector. He says he is based in Libiya and sent me an army email to apply for leave. I did and got a mail back. I have to pay $200 in my currency that would be, R2000 something. Alot for me. Could this be verified or yes, it a scam?

  • Jade Hibiscus June 3, 2015, 12:47 am

    I feel bad for you ladies, but where is your brain in all this???????????????? Are you guys the reason we got the president we have? Some guy that doesn’t even know you is NOT in love with you, or anything about you. Please be smarter. You probably spent more time assessing your last pair of shoes than these guys. Play with THEM the nest time. Ask THEM for money. Tell them you need this or that, even if you don’t. See how quickly they disappear. Try it. You have nothing to lose!

    Anyone can reproduce a picture from any source. So he matches his identification to match something he found online to play with you about. If you can’t find a way to independently confirm his details, its time for you to strike first and beg him for things, money, whatever . . .

    DON’T GIVE UP YOUR TIME to some loser you can’t really find anything out about. Don’t let these guys toy with you, ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Pene September 30, 2015, 12:15 am

      I love your comments. Yes to the ladies… Anything too good to be true is just too good to be true. I usually can tell the cons right off this Alaska was good, so be careful ladies don’t even talk to him online or not worth a penny. And I love the idea about Asking them for money or for something that usually gets rid of them pretty quick. Come on Gail’s were smarter than them we deserve better no one deserves this.

  • Mary Hrin June 7, 2015, 4:37 am

    Hi I have been chatting to a guy based in Afghanistan and he has rang me 3 times. He has of yet not asked for money in fact he has offered to pay for me to meet him in London when he is on leave. I have got loads of pictures of him and a few with his daughter. I want to know after reading all the other comments how do I know if he is real or fake. Thanks

  • Heather June 9, 2015, 8:09 am

    Just a heads up…. I am on okcupid and a sweet talking military man started chatting talked for about 3 days n found all this scam online funny enough his story was all over the place… Lost his wife no family kids single dad stationed west Africa nigeria name gabriel wilson wood… Called him on the scammers in nigeria saying the same stories he ran… Ladies n gentlemen keep your eyes open…

  • Patti McClure July 5, 2015, 10:01 pm

    I am still dating a man in Nigeria his name is Ken Wright. I have been talking to him for a month. He says that loves me and he calls me his wife. I need to know if he is real or fake. He said that he was engaged and his fiancé died a year ago from diabetes. His parents died in a car accident and died when he was 15. He says that he wished that he had a phone to call me so he can hear my voice. He also said that when he comes home that he wants to marry me. Please Help Me.

  • angla July 14, 2015, 6:22 pm

    hi there from day one…chatting to this guy some thing tell me he fake he ask if I write to commandermark.D@usa.com PLZ tell me I am right about this man his name is conner …he say he got feeling and need me to get him to the UK to be with me …..can some one get back to me and tell me what do next ….as he waiting to hear back on how I got on …..

  • Miles August 16, 2015, 8:53 pm

    This man WOOD DAN GOOD ON FACEBOOK told my mother to send an email to “call_department@outlook.com” talking about how she has to pay to talk to him, she has to pay for a line or for a calling card cost about 200$ per hour, that is ridiculous. please help, who ever knows this man? have you been an victim by this man? do you know this man on facebook as WOOD DAN GOOD?? please help my mother, she doesnt deserve to be heart broken again….

  • Barbara September 15, 2015, 5:35 pm

    talking to someone that says he is a contract soldier, in Kabul,met on tinder.
    name is tom rodriguez.
    says they disable the cams over there for contract soldiers, is this true?
    he sends me pics and video via a regular gmail email address, does that make sense?
    no request from him for anything, yet, says he needs a satellite phone in order to talk to me, is this true?
    also says he has 2 contracts that are 13 months each.
    he also says he works for DynCorp, I did google and it is a legit company.
    please advise, thanks!!

  • grace September 22, 2015, 10:15 am

    what if you the person in videochat?YM? is it also fake?

  • Pene September 30, 2015, 12:09 am

    I have recently been texting suture his name is supposedly Mark Bertram. He says he is in Sudan Africa and an MP. Well suggesting that I could be sent to him but due to the closure of communication with the outside world, he wanted me to send a money gram to someone in Bryan Texas named Patricia White. She supposedly was to take the money gram of over $300 and produce package for Mark. After looking up the scams on this site I’m convinced that he is a scam artist. I hope no one falls for his line he’s very clever and convincing.

    • Terry January 29, 2016, 6:06 pm

      Pene, what else has this Mark Bertram been saying?

  • Christina b October 7, 2015, 11:51 pm

    My bf name Jordan Walter mcquire from alabama nw he is posted in Nigeria ado ekiti.He’s got 2 kids.His wife was died 4 years ago-car excident.according to what he told me.I come here because I just wanna know that it’s he is real or scammer.

  • dionne collis October 14, 2015, 12:02 pm

    I am going out with a army man name is cheramie Jones Steven I want to no if anyone has been with this man

  • Lina October 14, 2015, 1:43 pm

    A guy that’s in the United States Army named Wilson Oehmke claims he’s on a peace keeping mission in Libya. When I asked for his fb I couldn’t find him. The 3 pictures he has on Google+ 2 are the same guy but the 3rd doesn’t look like him. He told me he can’t log into fb because he forgot his user ID and password. Hmmm…. Kind of fishy. Just wanna knife if he’s attractive and real. Help!

  • angela November 6, 2015, 6:59 pm

    This guy wrote me in Tango his name is Joshua Benavides. He says he’s in the Army. He’s sent me pictures of him gave me a number to write over whatsapp or we write in facebook. We write at the same time mostly but not everyday. Its every 2 days we write.
    He hasn’t asked for money and says he’s going on leave but doesn’t know when exactly since he’s waiting on his form to return. At times I think he’s real and other times i think he’s a scammer. How could i know it for sure if he’s one or not?

  • Lorraine Hanson November 12, 2015, 11:02 am

    I met a guy on a dating site he said he is from calf said he is in Afghstan on kabul. After a short time of chatti g he is madley in love we have vedio chatted and chat a couple times a day he ask me to send his son money. Due to being in the hospital with heart problems. I have talked to the son he is in Accra Ghana. I cant help to think if i am being scamed. After reading your site. Is a solders bank acct blocked when they are on a mission ? And would the son still have medical insurance in Ghana ? His name is John porter

  • J. Cohen November 24, 2015, 11:43 am

    Do I need to pay to replace a office in Nigeria. The man I am talking to says I do. Is this true?

  • DANIA December 10, 2015, 4:21 pm

    I think I am being scammed by a Sgt. Robert Napier who claims he is in Kabul. Is anyone else familiar with this name? Please help!

  • Debbie baty January 3, 2016, 11:37 am

    Hello I been talking to two soldiers there names William Mcneilly Rodriguez. For 6 months and Howard staton Thomas both station in afghanstain Kabul camp Chapman. Well a scam alert came up so I stated digging the real Howard staton came up and he told me a story but William Mcneilly disappeared. After I done spent 700 on him a phone and care packages. The last package he wanted I would not send he got upset haven’t heard from either one sense one got busted. But I see they are trying to use different names like Peter McBride now. Can you tell me if there’s and such people are they fakes

  • Patty McNeil January 15, 2016, 7:50 am

    Ok I think i have been scammed . But thank goodness i did NOT send any money But he didn’t ask either. He friended me on facebook, has been telling me he loves me etc, he says he is coming back to the states end of this month, Says his parents died in 2008 and he has been speaking with a priest for years, Says he wants to come to my home. OMG I am so freaked by this. Thank you for all your info.

  • Nicole February 9, 2016, 1:10 pm

    I am wanting to know if Steve Olson Olsonsteve35@yahoo.com is for real or not. I never even thought to ask about his rank. We have exchanged alot of pics of him with his children and emails. He never gave me no sob story about lose. However he was really upfront about finding love. I would love to believe that what he is saying is true. He hasnt asked me for nothing. Recently he told me that he was being deployed. Since i have gone through deployment with another family member so i do understand the protocol. For what he was telling me made some sense. Now im starting to feel a little confused. Can somebody help me find out if he is real or not.

  • Jesmin February 19, 2016, 4:45 pm

    I met someone in meet me saying that he is a military in overseas. We had been chatting for 2 weeks now. He sent pictures of him and the kids as he says his wife died 5 yrs ago with cancer. He says in Germany .he wants me to request for him to come and see me saying I will be requested to pay some amount like $150.but I never did which he keeps asking when am I going to do it.the man goes by the name James Lockman.is he ascammer? When I mentioned about scammers he was angry saying I don’t care for him.

  • Wendy February 28, 2016, 12:56 pm

    I too started talking to a guy, named Rob Normandeau, a Sgt in the Army, Arm Reserves. Thus past week he emailed me and said he need my help, while on patrol they were attacked, he was shot and 2 others were killed. He says he needs money to get blood from Kuwait due to short supply in Afghanistan. $2000. I told him the military is supposed to take care of him and it’s not supposed to cost him. Well I told I’m no, no way, I called him a fake and a scam. He got upset because “I didn’t pitty his life being in danger and the loss of his colleagues ”
    I assumed that was the end of that…but he still text me, supposedly from a Google line for the service…..but the # is a California one. How can we find out if these guys are real. Isn’t there a place where we could check…

  • Tonya March 9, 2016, 1:03 pm

    Hello my mom has been talking to a guy named Micheal B Guzman and he has told her about a litle of everything above. His wife died in his arms and he is in a peace keeping mission or something like that with the DYN or DYI something or that sort. I have been so upset with her cause she has feel right into his hands. So far she has sent about 1400.00 for a so called flight home from Nigeria. Even showed her a copy of ticket but I cant get her to see that he a scamming her. Now the problem is he cant leave the country without cash on him. The country will not allow it. And yeah he has told her about all requesting his commander for this and that. Its all BULLSHIT ladies. I wish I could get it through to my mom but it seems like she just dont get it. Please if anyone knows anything about this man please let me know. He is on facebook but only has one pic of him and no info but says he is so top ranked that they have took all info off the planet. I wish I could get through to her before she sends this con more money that she doesnt have. Thanks to everyone for their post. The post do help so keep posting ladies. Lets put a stop to these losers….

  • Arlene March 15, 2016, 8:50 pm

    Hi,ive been talking to a captain alex leo in syria who says now he needs me to western union money to travel agent or he cant return home im so scared it is a scam love shouldnt cost money

  • Lucy Mary March 16, 2016, 4:11 am

    Obviously he is a scammer. Im also chatting with a supposed military. He called himself Jm Lockman, deployed in Nigeria, widower, single father of 3 children. In only two days of conversation he has asked me to send an email to your command asking for his release to visit me in Portugal. He does not know anything about me and said the he is in love with me…i could be a good mom for his chuldren bla bla bla. Now I’m waiting for the next step that should be something related to money … lol. SCAAAMER !!!

  • CJ April 5, 2016, 12:24 pm

    How do you know if an Army guy is real or fake?

  • Kerry April 13, 2016, 8:37 pm

    I was recently talking to a Sgt Rob Normandeau he have me a mailing addres to Jones Steven to send some suits to. I’d be careful with that one I think he’s in on the scam with Rob Normandeau.

  • Carmen April 22, 2016, 2:52 pm

    I invite people on my fb as i run my business from fb. I invited john nelson, He first asked me if he knows me, i then told him no just outting my business out there, we started talking for the last month now and he was employed to Afghanistan about a week ago, he told me that he came into money and that he needs to have the money kept safe by me, i didnt want anything to do with this so i first told him no, i then told him ok to see what his response is. he asked me for my address and tel and email. i then searched these kind of sites and send him the link, he told me he is not one of them and that he is now disappointed in me. that he will take a picture of him holding a page with myname written on it to prove it to me, still havent received it. he is good, very good.

  • Nelly. Martinez April 25, 2016, 3:04 pm

    Thiers a soldier. Whose. Lt..canen Manning. Who ive been dating on Facebook. .How can i find out if his fake. ..He has not asked me for money. Nothing like that. ..so i feel his FAkE

  • Donna Hunt May 12, 2016, 1:24 pm

    Hi, I was recently contacted via FB by a supposed solider, who is in the Army. We have been communicating online for a few weeks now. He said that he is a Christian, and we have great conversations about the Lord. When he first contacted me, he said that he is in Syria on a Peace Keeping mission in conjunction with the UN. Now, I would like to think that I am a pretty smart person, so I researched information on US peacekeeping missions assigned to Syria, and articles confirmed that the US in September 2015, President Obama released a memo vowing to provide military support to countries such as Libya, Syria and Somalia. We don’t connect very often, but when we do, it is typically a very good conversation.

    In an effort to confirm whether he was in fact a soldier, I told him that I would like to send him a care package and asked where I should sent it. He responded that it was not necessary, but he was honored that would offer to do that. I’m stumped, any suggestions?

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