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12 Ways to Stay Connected During Deployments

When your soldier is half a world away (literally!), it can sometimes be very hard to stay connected with each other. Especially since the communication tends to only originate from one side (and it’s not yours).

Below are a few ways that you can stay connected throughout a deployment as an Army spouse, Army fiancee, or Army girlfriend/boyfriend.

1. Pick a star before he leaves so you can look up at that star and tell each other good night.

2. Fill his bags and things he’s taking with him with notes from you or little bags with notes inside that say they’re filled with hugs or kisses. He can do the same for you.

3. Buy two of the same book and read them together while he’s gone. This will also give you something to talk about it when he calls (on the off chance that you run out of things to say).

4. Decide to learn something new together. For instance, you could both decide to learn a foreign language. Buy the books or tapes and learn the language together. You can practice on phone calls and emails.

5. Start a daily journal and every month exchange journals with each other.

6. Write a story together over email. This could be a simple story or maybe even a fantasy for both of you. Write a paragraph, send it to him, he adds a paragraph, sends it back to you, and so on. You could also do this through the mail.

7. Have a contest to see who can send the funniest cards or letters.

8. Each of you can choose a special date or vacation for when he returns. Keep it secret but send each other clues about it. Be creative in your clues – they don’t necessarily have to be written clues.

9. If you scrapbook, send him disposable cameras to take pictures for you to scrap. You can present the completed book to him when he returns. Make sure he gives you descriptions for your pictures. Note: Be sure this does not violate his unit’s OPSEC guidelines.

10. Before he leaves, make sure he leaves you lots of messages. My husband leaves me voice messages on our answering machine and my cell phone’s voicemail. He also leaves a handwritten letter and a text message on my cell phone. No matter where I am, I always have access to his voice or a note from him.

11. If you’re brave enough, write steamy letters or emails to him. If you just can’t bring yourself to do the actual writing, visit It’s free and they’ll do the writing for you!

12. Communicate often through whatever means you have available to you whether it’s the mail, email, internet chat, or packages. Let each other know you’re thinking of each other.

On my husband’s third deployment, I got a letter in the mail from him. It was the first actual letter I’ve received through the mail from any of his deployments – it was like gold to me (and still is!).

Something simple can mean a lot.

author avatar
Stacey Abler
Stacey's husband joined the Army in 2003 and was medically retired after four deployments. She enjoys sharing her experiences and expertise around Army life while continuing to support Army spouses and families in their military journey.

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  1. My fiancee just left for basic, and I’m not sure if some of these would work. Any suggestions/ modifications to the list that would work for me?

    1. The best thing to do in basic training is to write plenty of letters. Don’t wait for him to write you back to send another one. He may not be able to write as often as you can but the letters are very important to them for support.

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