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Ask An Army Spouse: Army Husband Feeling Left Out

Hi I’m an Army husband and me and my wife were recently stationed out in Ft Bliss TX. I’ve been looking up a lot of information trying to find other Army husbands that are in my same situation. Now I know it is not that common that men play the spouse role in the Army but all I see is Army wives programs on every site.

Is there any one in my area with my same situation or is there a website designed for us that I can visit. Again I know it’s not common but I also know I’m not the only one. Please someone help me lol thanks


There aren’t many programs (if any) out there that I know of specifically for Army husbands that exclude wives. However, you are right that you are not the only one. T

here are many men out there who are supporting their wife who serves and that should certainly be commended.

There are a few options:

1. Check with the FRG (family readiness group). They may know of other male spouses who are also reluctant to participate in the mainly female environment of the FRG.

Perhaps they can introduce you so the guys can start their own support group. But also don’t forget, you are certainly welcome at the FRG as it is not a female-only group, despite how it may appear at meetings.

2. Check on post with other organizations. What about the USO? Spouses group? Groups devoted to a certain hobby or activity that you enjoy? These are all places where you may be able to meet other male spouses.

3. Ask your wife to introduce you to other male spouses. Surely she’s not the only female in her unit who is married. Have everyone over for a cookout and start your own network with the guys.

4. Finally, don’t feel like you have to only hang out with guys connected to the Army in some way. Check out civilian groups or meet other guys at the gym or where you work.

Sometimes it’s nice to have someone who’s not so involved with Army life to hang out with.

Good luck!

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Stacey Abler
Stacey's husband joined the Army in 2003 and was medically retired after four deployments. She enjoys sharing her experiences and expertise around Army life while continuing to support Army spouses and families in their military journey.

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  1. When I went through OTS I noticed that there were several (perhaps five or six) husbands in the Spouse’s meeting. Many of them were spouses of nurses or Doctors but that does not really matter. The thing to do might be for your spouse to associate with other women who are married. Then when you spend time together on weekends having a BBQ etc you can meet the other men. If you are a person of Faith then the Chaplain can certainly help you set up a group, heck even without the religion He/She can help you set it up, and likely they can use Chapel Funds (again in a setting that does not require faith) to be able to pay for things such as a dinner once in a while, or Golf, tours of cool things nearby, etc.

  2. I really need some help. The soldier I’m talking to recently told me that because he doesn’t want to loose me, he wants me to register as his wife, in the Army database. Is that even an option for me? It seems fishy to me. Here’s why. I sent an email to the address he gave me. The grammar in the email I got back is weird. Also, they asked for my home address and social security number. I don’t think that’s safe.

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