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Ask An Army Spouse: Basic Training Letters & Communication

Holding Mail During Basic Training

My husband has been at basic training for a week. When he called me, he said he had not received any letters. I have sent him a letter every day, and I live in the same state!!!!! Why isn’t he receiving my letters? Do they hold their mail?


It seems to be common for mail not to make it to new soldiers in basic training for the first two weeks. Whether it is being held or it just takes some time to process the mail when a new class comes in is anyone’s guess.

Rest assured, if the letter was addressed correctly, he will eventually receive it.

I remember feeling horrible when my husband called and was upset that I had not written him yet. But I had been writing daily since he left. He got all of my letters shortly after that.

Phone Calls in Basic & Moving After Graduation

My fiance and I are getting married next month, and he leaves for Basic in three months… will he be able to call me often? 

This is going to be really hard for us. We have never really been apart, and we are only 18. When he’s finished with AIT, will I be allowed to move with him on the base right away?? I would really like to know; it will make this whole thing easier.


How often he can call will depend on his basic training location, his drill sergeants, and his fellow soldiers. In the Army, if one person messes up, they punish everyone.

I know some who heard from their soldier at least once a week during basic training and others who were lucky to hear from them once a month. There is really no way to predict. Your main form of communication with him in basic training will be through letters.

If AIT is his last school, you can move with him to his permanent duty station at that time. The only exception to this is if he gets orders to Korea. While it is possible to be able to move to Korea with your soldier, many times, it is an unaccompanied tour. Barring that, you should be able to move with him then.

Cell Phones at Basic Training




If your husband takes his cell phone with him at basic, he should be able to use it while he is in reception. When he actually starts training, it will likely be taken away from him though he should get it back at the end of training.

As far as when you will find out where he is going, it is usually towards the end of his final training school. In most cases, it would be towards the end of AIT. How long after basic training depends on how long his AIT is.

Generally, AIT is more laid back than basic training though it all depends on the instructors. Longer AITs tend to be more lenient than shorter ones. Regardless, unless he is in OSUT (where basic and AIT are combined), then he should be able to call more often once he makes it to AIT.

You may find this guide for new spouses helpful as well.

International Letters During Basic Training

My good friend is leaving for basic training soon. I am in Canada, and he is in the US. We would like to know if it is possible to send letters to each other while he is in Basic Army Training. We are not sure if he will be able to send anything out of the country. I have heard a no and a yes on this question, and I am looking for a more solid answer, hopefully from you. Thank you!
I was unsure of the answer to your question, so I contacted an Army wife with whom I have been friends for a while. She is from Canada, and her husband attended basic training at Ft Benning in Columbus. She said that they did not have any issues with being able to write to each other, with the exception that the letters took a long time.

Address for Basic Training

My boyfriend left for basic almost 2 weeks ago. I received a call a week ago, and he said it was his last day in reception. I asked about when I would get his address, and he said he wasn’t sure, but he wouldn’t have it until he got to the actual basic training. I haven’t heard from him since, and neither has his mom. Is it normal for it to take this long to get the address?

He can’t give you an address until he starts training. At that time, a letter will be sent with the address so I would say it isn’t unusual that you haven’t yet received it a week later. I hope it arrives soon!

Communication During OSUT for Infantry

I have several questions to ask. My fiance is currently in reception and about to start basic at Ft Benning, GA. I received one call from him and was told I would get one the day he left for basic.

He is going through OSUT with a Ranger/airborne contract. A friend of mine’s husband is currently in infantry training at Ft Benning as well, and she gets to talk with her husband on a weekly basis and gets letters almost every day.

Should I expect the same, or will his training be harder and more restricted? Will his commander mail his graduation and family weekend between basic and AIT information to his father instead of me since were not married? What can/can’t I mail him while he is in OSUT? Thanks for taking the time to answer questions. It makes it easier for those of us out there who have no clue.

Infantry for soldiers who do not have a Ranger contract and those who do is the same. While it can vary from one class to the next, your friend’s experience with communication with her soldier will likely be similar to yours.

The information will most likely be sent to his dad since you are not married though it can be sent to whoever he chooses to receive it. While he is in OSUT, it is best only to send letters, cards, and a few pictures that you wouldn’t mind having everyone else see (nothing risque).

Limit on Number of Letters Mailed During Basic Training

How many letters can he send out in a week? His parents got one, but I haven’t this week. Would there be a letter limit per week? Thanks !!

To my knowledge, there is no limit on the number of letters he can send. His time, especially in the beginning, is very limited. He may not have time to write. Hope you hear from him soon!

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Stacey Abler
Stacey's husband joined the Army in 2003 and was medically retired after four deployments. She enjoys sharing her experiences and expertise around Army life while continuing to support Army spouses and families in their military journey.

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  1. It’s been 4 weeks on steptember 4 my bf left and since my boyfriend left to basic training I havent heard from him and I’m really worried. His mom send me his location last week on Sunday that she had received a letter from him and as soon as I got it I wrote him letters and I still haven’t heard from him he also hasn’t called or anything it’s kinda getting me really worried what if his mad because he thinks I haven’t write him letters when really I have and it’s just worrys me a lot I want to know if his okay and I just need some help and clarification.

  2. My husband went in the army Oct 2nd he got to basic Oct 9th. Its Oct 19 and I got still got no letter with his address or anything. Sad thing is the army told us he would be in South Caroline but I went to his recruiter and found out he’s in Missouri. Is this normal and how long will it be til I get a letter? I’m due with our son in 3 weeks.

  3. My boyfriend has been in basic training for about 3 weeks. I’ve gotten all his letters with the mailing address I have written him almost everyday since. The last letter he had sent me, he told me he hasnt received any of my letters but the other guys have received their letters. Hes very upset and thinks im not writing him. He even told me hes not going to write me anymore till he hears from me because he thinks im not even reading his letters. Im really worried as to why he’s not getting my letters. I really dont want him to think im not reading his letters. Someone please help me.

  4. I would love a response to this as it is wearing thin on my heart and I don’t know what to do. My son left for basic about a week ago and his fiancée has been struggling very badly with depression. Although I haven’t been able to get in touch with her, I feel like she is in very bad condition… if I can confirm this, is there any way I can get in contact with my son?

  5. Hi. My boyfriend has been at Basic Training since like March 1st. I have gotten 3 letters from him already which is nice, but the last letter I got from him was on March 30th and now it’s April 12th. I sent him 2 letters since the 30th but haven’t heard back. Should I be worried?

  6. My soldier is in basic, I just found out I am pregnant. He does not have my address memorized and the woman he sends letters to refuses to give me his address. I am devestated and he needs to know can anyone help me?

    1. Does he know your phone number? He will get a few opportunities to call. Is it possible he would call you versus the other person you’re referencing?

  7. It’s been two weeks since my fiancée left and got to fort sill for Basic. They took his phone for reception and I don’t even know if he’s through it and started training yet or what. I haven’t heard a thing since that first day call. I’m getting really worried and am scared he thinks I’m not writing because I haven’t gotten an Address to send them to. I don’t know what to do.

    1. Hi, he may not have started basic as soon as he got there. It’s not unusual for them to be in reception for a bit before the next class starts. It usually takes a couple of weeks before they start getting mail on a regular basis after they start basic. You should be receiving something from him soon. Any chance that his parents would have received the letter from the commander with his address, etc?

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