heart to support other military families

Dealing with Multiple Deployments

Just within the last few weeks, I have heard from several Army spouses that their soldier has become the “lucky” recipient of deployment orders for the third or fourth time since 9/11.

Going through one deployment is hard enough. But dealing with your third or fourth twelve plus month separation in the last nine years? That’s pretty tough.

While my husband also did multiple deployments, they were of a much shorter timeframe. So while I have some understanding of it, I never had to endure such long periods of separation due to deployment.

His were in the four-month range. I do, however, know what it feels like to be on a constant countdown.

Counting down until he leaves…counting down until the next phone call…counting down until he comes home…I felt like all I ever did was count!

Reach Out for Support

For those of you who are about to endure this (or already are), know that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help and support from those who are around you. There are many people who want to help but just don’t know what to offer.

Tell them what you need. There is no need to play superwoman and pile it all on yourself.

Lean on others and let them lean on you. It is our support networks that get us through tough times and will continue to in the future.

Offer Support to Others

If you know someone who is going through a deployment, pick up the phone just to chat.

Send a card.

Offer to take her kids so she can have two hours to enjoy a coffee and browse at the bookstore alone.

Invite her for dinner.

Just be a friend. Listen to her vent, cry, laugh and share.

Be her rock when she needs you to be. Let her know you are there.

We must stick together and support each other.

author avatar
Stacey Abler
Stacey's husband joined the Army in 2003 and was medically retired after four deployments. She enjoys sharing her experiences and expertise around Army life while continuing to support Army spouses and families in their military journey.

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  1. hey, i know deployments can be up to 14moths long but is there anyway family can go too? and how long after deployment do the soldiers stay home? is there some sort of break in between deployments?

  2. You married him, knowing he was in the military, and especially in Spec Ops, so you knew it would be this way. Regular deployments are 12 to 15 months. We are at war, what do you you expect? You should have thought about this before you got married. Now you HAVE TO handle it. What’s the big deal, you’re an adult. Deal with it and don’t cheat on him or divorce him, unless you are that worthless. Get a career, get a hobby, get a dog, get good female friends who will make your life better, not worse. Be productive.

  3. Hello my name’s Andrea. I’m from Brazil and I’ve found your site wonderful and really helful.
    I have a doubt. I’ve been dating a soldier who claims to be in Afghanistan for the last 4 years, we’re planing for him to come to my country as soon as his assignment is finished. The other day he told me he’ll ask to resume office in Brazil. As I’ve never dated anyone on line before neither a soldier, I’d like to count on your help to clarify me if what he’s told me is true.

    1. To Andrea – I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it is HIGHLY unlikely that the soldier you are dating has been in Afghanistan for 4 years. If he was deployed, it would be for no more than 12-15 months and then he would have 12 months at his home base/post (either in America or one of the countries we have bases in, such as Germany). Even special operations soldiers are not deployed for that amount of time. As far as I’m aware, we do not have any bases in Brazil, or at least, nothing large enough for a regular soldier to request to be placed at. I’m sorry, but you are being lied to.

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