Deployment Habits for the Army Spouse

I’m not sure if habits is the correct term but I couldn’t really come up with anything else that fit! I’ve talked to many Army wives who always do certain things before, during and after their husband’s deployments. It’s almost like superstitious type things that you believe give you luck. But some are just so it feels like your husband is still around and living at home even when he isn’t.

I’ll start….

1. Wherever my husband leaves something when he leaves for deployment is where it stays until he comes home. I’ve had shoes in the middle of the living room floor and a shirt hanging on the bedpost for months during his deployments.

2. We never say “goodbye” when he leaves or when we talk on the phone. It’s always “good night” even if its 10 am. Goodbye seems so final to me. We started this on his first deployment and it just stuck.

3. Sometimes, I’ll shut the door to the bathroom and spray his cologne. Then just stand there and close my eyes. For just that moment, it makes it seem like he’s standing in the room.

4. We always write letters to each other before he leaves. I’m not allowed to open mine until I get home from dropping him off and he’s not allowed to open mine until he gets on the airplane.

5. I always read a letter or something he wrote for me before I go to bed hoping it will have him in my thoughts enough that I’ll have sweet dreams of him. Most of the time, it works!

6. My aunt gave me a blarney stone when he left for basic training. I’ve carried it with me since then. I’ve been known to turn around and go back to get it if I forget it when I’m going out of town!

So there’s just a few of mine. I’m curious what types of things others do when their soldier is deployed. Or perhaps I’m the only weird one who does these things?! Please tell me I’m not….

author avatar
Stacey Abler
Stacey's husband joined the Army in 2003 and was medically retired after four deployments. She enjoys sharing her experiences and expertise around Army life while continuing to support Army spouses and families in their military journey.

Similar Posts


  1. Before bed we always shower & spray each others favorite perfume & cologne. Since he’s been gone, I still spray his cologne….on his pillow & pretend it is him I am hugging.

  2. My fiance has been gone for the last 5 months (only 5 more months to go!). For the past few months I have been catching the times 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, etc. at least a couple times a day. I mean, really often. Almost eerily often. When I catch these times I take a couple seconds to make a wish. 🙂 Makes me feel better.

  3. my husband has been gone for two months now our first deployment, eight to go. im so thankful for internet email, fb, skype. it has really helped. he dips and one can is by my bed one in my car i know im crazy. its ment flavored. also his laundry i wash one or two things a week it makes me feel like hes still here in a way. like the other wifes i smell his deoderant. we are both looking forward this is a small time in our lifes. dosent make it easy, but one day we will look back and say it really wasnt that bad.

  4. I don’t wash his pillow, everything else still gets washed once a week but I leave that to the side. I reread texts that he sent just before he left. I also don’t put things away that he left there, shoes, coats, the empty chew can in my center cup holder of my car….

  5. When my husband deployed for 15 months he left a piece of streamer from our daughters bday party up in the corner, so that every time I saw it i’d think of him. I used to open his body wash so i could “smell” him in the house. I used to keep my phone in my bra so i’d never miss a call from not hearing it go off. We made a daddy book, that had pictures of my hubby and my daughter together so that she could “see” him any time she wanted. And we made a habit to make DVD’s of home movies to send him, so that he was in constant flow of what we had been doing. In return, he would send us small tokens, and DVD’s of his own of things him and his guys were doing, or photos to add to our daddy book. My husband also had a photo book of pics of us that we would send him.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.