Dear Army Wife,
What do other Army wives suggest during a deployment, staying or moving back home? I am weighing my options right now and I would like to know the pros and cons.I have to seriously consider it because I was offered a job where I am from. Also,my parents offered to let me live rent free for the year to save money. Is it really worth the hassle?
Also I would be storing my belongings at our current duty station and just bringing back the necessary things so I wouldn’t have to move a whole house hold of goods.
What should I do?
Dreading the Next Deployment
Dear Dreading the Next Deployment,
I think it depends a lot on the situation at hand though I must say I’ve only heard horror stories about moving back home during the deployment. Though that could just be because those with great stories aren’t as apt to share them with everyone.
One, even though it would be rent free, I think it’s worth considering moving back home to be around family but maybe not necessarily moving back IN with family. I think it can be very difficult for any parent to see their child as an adult when living with them and truly not play the parent-child role. Of course, you know your specific situation better than anyone else and whether there’s a risk of falling back into this role.
If you did move back in with them or your rent is less than what you are paying now, you could certainly save money. Since you mention that you have a job offer back home, I’m assuming you aren’t working now. Combine all of those factors together with his extra income during deployment and you could put away quite a bit of money (or pay any debt you have). So there’s certainly a strong argument where that’s concerned.
Access Information and Support
Two, I personally always stayed at his duty station when he was deployed (four times). I felt I had more access to information and support from people who had been there, done that by staying where I was. I did visit my parents more often when he was deployed (they were only a few hours away) but was glad I still had MY home to return to after the visit.
The people in my hometown simply didn’t understand the whole Army process with deployments, etc and it gets old when everyone you see has this look of pity on their face with a sappy “how are you doing?”. You don’t endure that as much in a military town. The support is there but the pity is not as much – I think mainly because you’re around others who have been through it and have a better understanding of what to say or not to say.
On the other hand, while you’ll certainly never forget he’s deployed, you may be able to distance yourself a bit from the constant reminder of everything military if you move back to your hometown. It really just depends on how you deal best.
Consider Your Kids
Third, if you have kids, I would think long and hard about making another big change in their lives with switching schools, leaving their friends, familiar surroundings, etc. The teachers in a military town also seem to be more equipped to handle the challenges of deployments with kids simply because they’ve been exposed to it more.
Ultimately, it’s up to you. And now, I’ll open it up to opinions from others as this is based solely on me and the few friends I know who have moved back.