Single Soldier with Kids

My boyfriend has 2 children and he has full custody of them. I have 2 children and have split custody with their dad. My boyfriend is wanting to break off our relationship because he says he can’t take his girls to his next post because he won’t have anyone to care for them. He says he will have to get up earlier than their school so he basically needs a girlfriend that can be there full time. What are the guidelines for single soldiers with children? Thanks!


He is supposed to have a care plan on file for his children. This would specify who would take care of his kids in the event he had to go to a training, school, TDY or deployment.

If there is not anyone to take care of his children and he has full custody, it is possible that his command could recommend a discharge for family hardship. I know of several female soldiers that have been in this situation who had to be discharged.

Keep in mind that if you did move with him, you would not be able to live on post with him unless you marry him. You would be able to live off post with him though.

If you have other specific questions, please let me know. And if anyone reading has experience with a single soldier with full custody of the kids, please chime in. Thanks.

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Stacey Abler
Stacey's husband joined the Army in 2003 and was medically retired after four deployments. She enjoys sharing her experiences and expertise around Army life while continuing to support Army spouses and families in their military journey.

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