financial support from army soldier

What To Do If Your Soldier Cuts You Off Financially

At least once a week, I receive an email from a spouse whose soldier has cut her off financially leaving her with no way to pay bills or take care of their kids.

There are a few things you can do in this situation.

  1. Contact his chain of command. This has varying degrees of success depending on the commanders. Though, most will be willing to help.
  2. If his chain of command is not assisting you, contact the Chaplain for his unit. The Chaplain can often act as a mediator and help resolve the situation.
  3. If both of those avenues fail, contact JAG. While they generally cannot assist you in divorce proceedings (not always the case), they can lead you in the right direction

Your soldier must continue supporting you while you are married as he is receiving allowances for being married and is certainly obligated to support his children.

It is impossible to address every situation to determine what you should get regarding financial support. Be aware that if you are living on post, that is considered financial support, as he is providing you with a place to live.

Be advised that you are not entitled to his entire BAH or his BAS. Even though most soldiers don’t receive BAS until they are married, they are getting that money because they are no longer eating in the chow hall free of charge. It is not to provide food for the family.

If you find yourself in this situation, follow the above steps. If divorce is imminent, seek out a civilian attorney as soon as possible.

author avatar
Stacey Abler
Stacey's husband joined the Army in 2003 and was medically retired after four deployments. She enjoys sharing her experiences and expertise around Army life while continuing to support Army spouses and families in their military journey.

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  1. Do you get your military ids before or after your husband just out of base training and is there I was to know the steps you take when you husband lives for basic, are there even any please I really need people to talk to my husbands liven in about size weeks and I’m worried idk how to go about anything or what to do I’m confused and lost or and scared I haven’t been apart from him long since we’ve gotten together

  2. Now I have a question – My EX Husband is active army, we have been divorced for 3 years and our decree states that he is responsible to pay his truck that is joint in my name as I am responsible to pay mine that was joint in his name. I have since traded in my car to get it completely out of his name, yet was never more than 2-3 days late on any payments for the life of the loan. He however has managed to ruin my credit by being 26-49 days late on EVERY payment for the last 23 months. I have the bank calling me multiple times a day from collections and he refuses to do anything about it, and has even told the bank he was being deployed and deleted his contact information. I have contacted his 1SG more than 6 times regarding this issue and they tell me they will look into it but nothing is ever done. I dont understand how a 300/mo truck cannot get paid when he is an E5 w/ 12 years of service and also works a civilian job at night. I have requested to his chain of command that he put the truck on an allotment and they have never responded – Unfortunately the judge stated he must pay but the bank laws say even if he doesnt I am responsible – is there anything I can do to insure that his COC assist me with this? I could swear there was a regulation or something somewhere about paying bills and how a soldier can get in trouble for defaulting too much. Any input would be appreciated.

  3. Denise – THANK YOU! I couldn’t agree more. I don’t think there is any excuse for any healthy adult not to take care of themselves. Especially when children are involved. If, God forbid, something should happen to the soldier taking care of everything, what would happen then?
    I understand that not every place has an abundance of available jobs. Sometimes a place has a surplus of over qualified candidates, it seems like a B.S. is needed to get a job at the PX, and every other house is running a daycare, but that’s when creativity is needed. Hobbies? Find a way to make them profitable (Etsy, Ebay, instructional videos on YouTube), No Hobbies? Get some! Or better yet, get/build on education.
    Everyone has a value and some way to capitalize on that. Choosing not to do so does not obligate a significant other to stay and put up with it.

  4. Okay so since my husband returned from deployment and moved with his new girlfriend he has refused to pay partial BAH since February, I have contacted his chain of command, who refused to return phone calls, then I contacted IG early May. After finally getting something set up received an order from his commander stating a payment for the back payments and all future payments. Now he has not paid AGAIN as scheduled, when contacted his chain of command they stated they have not heard or seen him in two days, very nonchalant. I then emailed my POC with IG. They are telling me to file a civil suit, when contacting the courts they state that it must be handled by the military. So what do I do? I am medically retired and have never had to deal with such poor leadership! Now before anyone wants to make the comments about getting a job, I was in a bad car accident in March and military doctors have made it clear I can not work until surgery has been done on my shoulder. SO therefor I NEED the pay he is supposed to be giving me. My son and I are on the verge of losing everything and being homeless. So at what point does the military finally step in and say you are responsible?

    1. update: got a call from commander and IG today, husband is AWOL! also found out he failed a piss test so now i am screwed!

  5. what am i entitled to after we divorced.. my husband never sent me a dime for the year and a half we were seperated cause he assumed i didnt deserve cuz we were divorcing now that we found a lawyer i wonder what im entitled to after the fact

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